Golden Sun: The Lost Tale --- In this chapter... Jenna and Sheba's epic battle against sexism! Or something along those lines... stupid Hesperia people... --- [Studio] Felix: I finally get to get rid of that useless staff. Jenna: Yay! It's just a waste of inventory space. Sheba: I don't understand why Ivan loved it so much... Piers: He must be strange or something... Felix: The Hover Jade is so much more useful... [Shaman Village] Felix: So... we're already at Shaman Village, Hesperia. Jenna: There are a lot of tents. Sheba: Teepees. Jenna: Well, they look like tents to me, so I'm calling them tents. Sheba: *sigh* Suit yourself. Piers: The people sure seem quiet... Sheba: *approaches random Hesperian* Hi. Hesperian: ............................... Sheba: ... *tries another Hesperian* Hi! Another Hesperian: ....................... Jenna: It looks like they aren't going to talk... >=) Felix: I for some reason do not like that look of evil. Sheba: *goes up to Hesperian woman* Hi. Woman: ................................ Sheba: (censored) Felix: Sheba! Where'd you learn THAT? Woman: .............................. Sheba: Oh, someone in Tolbi told me that word. Hey, woman, you've got the smallest boobs I've ever seen. Woman: .............................. Kraden: Ahem, shouldn't we- Jenna: *approaches Hesperian Man and pokes him* Man: ................................ Piers: If they would just talk... Felix: They are never going to. Piers: Why? Felix: No clue. Sheba: However, you make up for your small boobs with your giant butt. Felix: Sheba, maybe we should do something about your attitude o_O Woman: ....................... Jenna: You're the ugliest guy I've ever seen ^_^ Man: ......................... Jenna: *pokes again* Oh, and you really need to wear deodorant. Peeyew. Man: ......................... Sheba: This is so fun ^_^ Inu: *growls at the man* Man: ........................ Jenna: Get him, Inu! Man: ........................ *does nothing* Inu: Arf? Jenna: Huh, he's not even scared. Sheba: Make him talk, Jenna ^_^ Jenna: I'm trying! Felix: I do not see the fun in this. Piers: I guess we're doomed to just watch. Jenna: Check this out! *makes fireball in her hand* Man: ................ Jenna: He... wasn't even fazed? ... *burns down a teepee in rage* Sheba: I hope we're not going to be charged for that. Felix: Come on, let's go and find the village chief. Piers: How come? Felix: I'm not sure, I just have the feeling I should. Kraden: I do hope that he talks! Sheba: Not like the woman with the hugest butt in the world here then. Jenna: I bet this guy's manhood is tiny. Man/Woman: ................................ Felix: ... You're really overdoing it now. Jenna: >=) I know. Piers: How can you be so cruel? Jenna: At least I'm not as rude as that guy! He won't talk! Sheba: Farewell, person that I'm not sure is a man or woman. Woman: ................................... Kraden: NOW, may we go? Felix: Yes! At once! Sheba: Can't we have a BIT more fun? Jenna: Hey, I think the man and woman look different... Sheba: How different? Jenna: They look..... mad... Sheba: O_O Oh. Piers: Run for your life! The Rabid Hesperians of doom are coming... Felix: You have issues. Piers: I know ^_^ Felix: o_o;;; Am I the only sane person here? Jenna/Sheba/Piers: ^______________^ Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Piers and Kraden go to the house at the top of the town and Felix tries to enter but suddenly three men appear out the door. Felix: ACK! Moapa: I am Moapa! Back off! Felix: ..... *backs off* Moapa: So, strange people in Shaman Village? What the hell you here for? Jenna: *whispers* Not very friendly, is he? Knight 1: We don't like intruders >=O Sheba: Intruders?! Knight 2: Go away and never come back! Piers: And what if we don't go away? Moapa: Well? What do you want? Kraden: It looks like we are here to do something. Maybe we have to give them something, what do you think of that? Jenna: But what? Felix: .... I know! The rod! Sheba: They already have rods! Piers: o_o Was that... rude? Sheba: -_^ Felix: It is time to get rid of the blasted Shaman's Rod. Sheba: Did you ask the Shaman first? Jenna: Oh, stop it, Sheba, it isn't funny anymore. -_- Kraden: If that really is what you are meant to give to Moapa, then please proceed to do so. Felix: Watch! *holds up the Shaman's Rod* Sheba: Ivan isn't going to be happy if he learns Moapa stole it... Jenna: Well, he can go steal it off Moapa if he wants! Piers: It's not stealing, we're giving it to him. Moapa: EEEEE! The Shaman's Rod! Knight 1: I thought it was lost forever! It belonged to a guy named Hoabna- Jenna: We don't care about guys named Hoabna. Knight 2: His friend in Contigo named Yegelos gave it to him! ^_^ He accepted a great responsibility too. Piers: Er... right... \:, Moapa: He vowed to look after this amazing treasure called a Hover Jade. When the Shaman's Rod is returned to us, we are to give the bearer the Hover Jade. Felix/Jenna/Sheba/Piers/Kraden: Yay! Moapa: You lot came to claim it? Felix: Um... yes? Kraden: Why else would we drag the Shaman's Rod all the way here? Moapa: *examines everybody* ??? Jenna: ..... so? Moapa: Nah, we're not giving you lot the Hover Jade. Sheba: WHAT? Piers: That's not fair! Sheba: *grabs her Dancing Idol and sticks a pin in it* Jenna: What are you doing? Moapa: *collapses on ground in pain* Sheba: *holds up Dancing Idol* ^_^ It's Moapa. Piers: Never took you for a voodoo artist. Sheba: Just trying to... persuade him. Felix: ... But was that really a good idea? Moapa: Ow! We... we're meant to give Hover Jade to descendant of Yegelos... and none of you are from Contigo! Sheba: SO? *sticks another pin in* Moapa: OWWW! Jenna: Really, Sheba! That's so abusive! Sheba: It's PREPOSTEROUS! Piers: Big word. Sheba: Blame the Alhafran Mayor. I picked it up... *twitches* Knight 1: I know! Lets make them do Trial Road! =D Moapa: ? Knight 2: The way of the Vanishing Sand! ^_^ Sheba: W-wait! Before Sheba can stick a third pin in the Dancing Idol, Moapa and the Knights have already disappeared. Felix: Guess we've no choice. We've got to do the test. Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Piers and Kraden rush off to the passage to Trial Road. Jenna: A wall of sand. Sheba: Hey! One of those tornado statues that are like the ones in Air's Rock! *casts Whirlwind and all the sand is blown away* Knight 1: OW! I got sand in my eye! OW OW OW! Knight 2: You should have stood back! Moapa: SILENCE! The sand has vanished! Kraden: Obviously it has. Knight 1: The legend is true! Knight 2: She must be from Contigo! Sheba: o_O Me? Jenna: Yeah! =D Moapa: HER? Felix: Yes, 'HER'! Maybe? Moapa: B-but she's... just... a GIRL! Jenna/Sheba: WHAT?! >=| Piers: May we have the Hover Jade? Moapa: No, not yet. Felix: What? Moapa: This was the first test. Jenna: Typical! =O Moapa: Now you'll have to do Trial Road. Knight 1: Even the girls? Jenna: Uh, yes? Knight 2: I thought only the chosen hero could... Sheba: And I can't be the chosen hero? *stabs green doll again* Moapa: OW! ;_; Th-the heroes have always been men. It is the way... Jenna: You sexist filthy... Sheba: Your attitude is bull! I can be just as every bit as heroic as any guy! Knight 1: You must respect our customs! Sheba: NO! =[ Knight 2: If you don't like it, take it up with Yegelos. Jenna: Fine, got a Ouija board? Felix: o_O Jenna, you must never use one of them! Jenna: Why? Felix: They're dangerous. Jenna: But he said- Piers: It was sarcasm, Jenna. Jenna: ............ Kraden: Please, let us do Trial Road! And won't the names go up too or something? Jenna: So what does it matter if a girl does it? All that matters is that we finish... and I dont think you wish to argue... Inu: GRR... Piers: Please, let us prove it to you. Sheba: Or are you just afraid a little girl like me might become the town's newest hero? Felix: Heroine. Sheba: Exactly ^_^ Now, let us do Trial Road! *holds up Dancing Idol* Moapa: Great, we're up against a monster and a voodoo doll. Alright! Fine! You can do Trial Road! Felix/Jenna/Sheba/Piers/Kraden: YAY! *They go to Trial Road, and Moapa explains a bunch of stuff, then finally they are ready to race. As the Adepts race, Jenna and Sheba are so bored that... it's time for a song!* Jenna: How annoying is this, We're racing for the Hover Jade! Finally we've given it up, the useless Shaman's Rod! Sheba: Nevermore can I make perverted jokes- Felix: Which is quite a relief- Sheba: For we've gone and lost the rod, And not a guy's rod mind you, Besides I think they're quite tired, of my perverted jokes! Piers: I thought everything would be simple, Hand it over and get what we deserve, But no, we're doubted by a sexist dude. Do you realise we could have someone in the Ninja Class, and use Gale Psynergy? Felix: Why bother when Whirlwind can do the job? Besides, we should be running, Running for the Hover Jade. Sheba: Sexist dudes really do suck. They are making us run a lot. Because none of us are from Contigo. I say, who cares where we're from? Jenna: Racing, we're racing for the Hover Jade, Which we need to light Jupiter Lighthouse! Oh why must things be so tricky? Sheba: To the summit! The summit of Trial Road, Where battles take place, For the Hover Jade! Piers: The sooner the better, For I've just had to leave my shield behind, And I think that's just out of order. When will we reach the summit? Felix: We're there! The summit of Trial Road! Jenna: Battle against the sexist dudes we go, We got here first, take that! Now we'll see who the winners are! Moapa: Fear not, we're the winners here, You outsiders are not getting the Hover Jade! Sheba: Oh yes, we are! *The battle ensues* Sheba: *sticks a bunch of pins into Dancing Idol with evil grin on face* Take that Moapa! Moapa: *screams girlishly* Jenna: Aw, look, I'm only a girl *casts Searing Beam and Dragon Fume* Knights: OUCHIES! Moapa: ;_; They are hurting me, knights, get them! Piers: DIAMOND BURG! Felix: ODYSSEY! Inu: Erroooooo! *bites a Knight on the leg* Knight 1: Ouch! Alas, I believe I have been slain! *collapses* Moapa: Noooo! We must stop these beggars from claiming our dear Hover Jade! Sheba: See what a girl can do? *casts Spark Plasma* Knight 2: Ow! Moapa, that hurt! I can't... fight... any... more... *faints* Moapa: Noooo! These girls are winning! Felix: Hey! I'M not a girl! *casts Odyssey again* Piers: Yeah! Our long hair's not THAT misleading, is it? *casts Diamond Burg again* Moapa: You meanies! Sheba: You're the meanie! *stabs doll again* Jenna: Inu, get him! Inu: Errrooooo... *bites Moapa* Felix: Is he down yet? Moapa: I... *collapses* Fine... take... the bloody hover... jade... *throws it* Piers: Alright! Felix: We finally got the Hover Jade! =D *Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Piers and Kraden rush off with the Hover Jade, and set sail to Atteka, but not before discovering that people are now talking. Although they escape quick snappish before the man and woman can get their own back on Jenna and Sheba.*