Golden Sun: The Lost Tale --- Of course, the parody of Golden Sun: The Lost Age is being rewritten! Yay for rewrites! --- [Studio] Isaac: *sigh* We have to do the prologue? Garet: D= Why can't it just be skipped? Ivan: Well, at least, once it's over, we can get some rest. Mia: Thank goodness... Jenna: Yay! ^_^ Our part of the tale is about to begin! Felix: Is that director going to bug us now? Director: v_v The Wise One said I had to stay... Sheba: Oh... poor director... Felix: Does the Wise One have it in for everyone? Jenna: I think so... Alex: Especially me. *sniff* Sheba: Nobody cares. Alex: T_T [Prologue] *Isaac, Garet, Ivan and Mia are standing on a stage as they prepare to tell the story.* Isaac: Eons ago, or so the stories tell us, cheese ruled over the land. The world bowed to the power of the mighty cheese. This is so messed up. Garet: Cheese filled the stomachs of humanity, like lead into gold! Ivan: But, eventually, their drooling mouths gave way to untold strife. Dreams of endless food, of eternal cheese, dominion over dairy products... dreams of cheese and war! Mia: Cheese would have torn their lives apart, had it not been for a few lactose intolerant men who sealed the cheese deep inside Mt. Aleph's Sol Sanctum in the form of the Elemental Stars. *Djinn fly overhead dragging a banner with 'Prologue from Book One' scribbled upon it* Isaac: Vale guarded their unknown secrets for far too long, so, Jenna and I, who had lost our parents (well, okay, I only lost my father) got sneaky and trespassed into Sol Sanctum along with Garet and Kraden. Garet: Saturos and Menardi followed us there into Sol Sanctum, along with Felix, Jenna's brother whom we also thought lost in the storm 3 years before that took Isaac and Jenna's parents. Ivan: Saturos and Menardi stole the beloved cheese, uh, Elemental Stars, the key to breaking the seal on the mighty cheese... I mean, Alchemy, and they kidnapped Jenna and Kraden in the process. Mia: If the Elemental Stars were used to ignite the four lighthouses, then Alchemy would be let loose upon Weyard! Isaac: Garet and I set out to stop Saturos, rescue our friends, and bring the Elemental Stars back to Vale. Luckily, we already had one of them, the Mars Star. Garet: We met a freaky Wind Adept named Ivan, with an unnatural cheese obsession, and we chased Saturos and Menardi all the way to the snowy village, Imil, right by the Mercury Lighthouse. Ivan: There, we met Mia, the insane Furby obsessed Water Adept, and she came with us to meet Saturos on top of the Mercury Lighthouse. Mia: We were too late to save Mercury Lighthouse and stop Saturos escaping with that traitor Alex! We chased them across the Karagol Sea... Isaac: I made my way to Tolbi by different means however. I saved a man named Babi who plotted to make me fight alone in Colosso! Garet: Since Isaac got ill, Mia lied her way to fighting alone in Colosso to show off her Psynergy... or rather, her Furbies. We gained Babi's trust and he told us a secret. Ivan: Babi wished to find Lemuria, because he wished to be immortal! His excuse was that he wanted to find out stuff about Alchemy. Mia: We went with Iodem to Lalivero and we learned that Saturos and Menardi had kidnapped a girl named Sheba and taken her to Venus Lighthouse with them. Isaac: We fought and defeated Saturos and Menardi atop Venus Lighthouse, but we couldn't save the lighthouse. Ivan wept for his precious and the beacon was lit. Garet: Sheba fell down into the sea and Felix dived after her. We never found them or Jenna either... Ivan: We returned to Lalivero and Iodem gave us the Black Orb to use Babi's ship so that we could go and find Lemuria. Mia: The next part of the story begins with Jenna, just before the Venus Lighthouse is lit. *Isaac, Garet, Ivan and Mia walk off the stage. The scene changes to somewhere in the Venus Lighthouse, where Jenna, Felix and Kraden are.* Jenna: Where are you going? Felix: I'm going to the aerie because Saturos and Menardi are idiots and took Sheba up there for no reason, so I'm getting her back. Kraden: Uh... are you sure that's a good idea? Felix: Sure! *moves statue onto button, making electric barrier stop* Bye! Jenna: Wait! Be careful! Don't fall off the lighthouse or anything! Felix: ... Like I'd do that... *leaves* Kraden: Yeah, I'm sure it's perfectly safe up there. Jenna: ... Kraden: What's the matter now? Jenna: I should have stopped him... *Alex warps in* Alex: Hello. Jenna: What? Alex: What do you mean what? Jenna: Why are you here? Alex: Funny I should be asking the same of you. Jenna: Why is that? Kraden: Really, must you- Alex: Because you should be at the ship. Jenna: What ship? Alex: The ship at Idejima! Jenna: What ship at Idejima? Kraden: *screams* Alex: Saturos and Menardi's ship! Jenna: Why do they have a ship? Alex: To travel. Jenna: Why do they need to travel? Alex: So that they can get the beacons lit. Jenna: Oh that's right! Alex: The beacon's gonna be lit soon! *happy dance* Kraden: Uh, why are you so happy? Alex: Because Alchemy will soon be restored! And cheese! Jenna: This cheese stuff is a load of hooey. There's no such thing as infinite cheese! Alex: There is too! Kraden: Honestly, I'm having a hard time believing it myself. Alex: So, where's Felix? Jenna: That's none of your business. Kraden: He has gone to the aerie to shout at Saturos and Menardi for taking Sheba to the aerie. Alex: Idiot. Jenna: What did you say? Alex: What makes you think I said anything, dear? Jenna: Call me a dear again and I shall punch you! Alex: I'm sooooo scared. Kraden: Ahem, should we get going? Jenna: No! Alex: You wish to stay here? Jenna: Yes. Alex: Well, you can't, let's go. I'm disappointed with Felix, he should have escorted you two to the ship. Kraden: Well, he didn't, so live with it. Alex: ... Jenna: Wait... Alex: What now? Jenna: =\ Will Isaac be up there? Kraden: I believe he may be. Jenna: Oh no! What if Felix and Isaac wind up fighting? Can't we go up there and talk to Isaac? Alex: No. Jenna: Why? Alex: Because Isaac is an enemy. Jenna: Why? Alex: He does not respect the pure cheese born of Alchemy, his motives differ to ours and he doesn't want the beacons lit. Jenna: But- Alex: Let's get out of here... A Fenrir: Hello. Kraden: ACK! What's that doing here? Fenrir: MWEHEHEHE! Jenna: How cute! *grabs two dog collars on a leash out of nowhere and fastens the collars around the Fenrir's necks* Alex: Jenna, what are you DOING? Jenna: This Fenrir's my new pet! Kraden: Oh bummer... Jenna: Right, Fenrir? Here, want some cookies? Fenrir: ARF? x_X; Jenna: *feeds the Fenrir some cookies* Fenrir: *chomp, chomp* ^_^ Alex: Jenna, you can't have a pet Fenrir! Jenna: WHY? Alex: Because... oh I give up, let's just go to Idejima. Fenrir: Aroo! ^_^ Kraden: Keep that thing away from me... Jenna, Kraden, Alex and Fenrir go out of the Venus Lighthouse and see some birds. Fenrir: AAAARF!!! *tries to pounce the birds* Jenna: Whoa, whoaaa! *almost falls over* Calm down! Alex: Maybe that's why you cannot have a pet Fenrir? Jenna: I don't care, he's mine! Kraden: Why don't you just give him a name? Fenrir: Awoo! ^_^ Jenna: Inu! Alex: Why Inu? Jenna: Because it's a dog right? Or at least a dog with two heads and Inu's the Japanese word for dog so there... Alex: Whatever... Kraden: Um, we have a bit of a problem here... *points to angry crowds* Inu: *whimpers* Erroo... People: Give us back Sheba now! Alex: No! *starts throwing people in the air with Geyser* Other people: *scream and run off* Alex: There, the coast is clear, you two may go on to Idejima. Jenna: Are you not coming? Alex: No, I wish to go to Lalivero and have a meal, but you two keep going. Kraden: That is unfair... Alex: Not my problem. *leaves* Jenna: The nerve of that guy! *walks the other way* Kraden: Yeah... Inu: Oooooo... Ruffian: Hey! >=\ Jenna: o.o; What do you want? Ruffian: Since there are just two of you, I shall fight you! Jenna: *gets into fighting stance* Bring it on! Kraden: *gulp* This could get violent... Ruffian: Yahhhh! *charges at Jenna, waving dagger* Jenna: Super Secret Technique... Kick in the Nuts! *sharply kicks the Ruffian in his family jewels* Kraden: Super Secret Technique? Ruffian: Owww.... *collapses* Jenna: What's the matter, you big pansy? Don't you want to fight anymore? Ruffian: *cries like a baby* Kraden: Jenna, he's finished. Let's keep going. Jenna: Okay... *Jenna, Kraden and Inu continue, and meet another Ruffian.* Ruffian: Haha, I shall not be defeated by a girl and her grandfather! Jenna: *twitches* What did you say? Are you insinuating I'm related to that rambling old fart?! Kraden: Hey! I'm right here! Jenna: Sic him, Inu! Ruffian: What the heck?! Inu: ARF! *runs up and bites the Ruffian* Ruffian: Ack! Argh! Ow! Get this thing off me! *collapses* Inu: Woof! *wags tail and walks back to Jenna* Jenna: Good dog. *pats* Let's keep going. Ruffian: *whimper* Mommy... Kraden: These guys aren't very tough, are they? *Jenna, Kraden and Inu keep going and walk into the mouth of a cave but step back out again. Three Ruffians appear.* Ruffian 1: It was a good idea to wait here. We got them! Ruffian 2: You two are going nowhere. Ruffian 3: Except back to Iodem! Jenna: *poses* The agent of fire and passion, guided by the planet of war, I, Magical Pretty Girl Jenna, will kick your asses in the name of Mars! *strikes a different pose* Kraden: ... Ruffians: ... Director: ... *is frozen with cup of coffee halfway to mouth* Everyone else watching: ... Jenna: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Jenna: Well?! Did it sound cool or not? Everyone: ... ... ... ... Kraden: Um, Jenna, why don't you just defeat the ruffians? Jenna: T_T *falls to knees, looking crushed* Nobody liked my cool speech... Director: Here's a tip. Cheesy speeches went out a long time ago. This is not Sailor Moon! Please act a bit more serious! Jenna: ;_; Kraden: Jenna? Ruffian 1: Is she insane? Ruffian 2: Yeah, I think she's completely loco. Ruffian 3: Should we really capture this crazy person? What if she harms Master Iodem? Jenna: ... You guys suck. Take this! Searing... BEAM! *fries the Ruffians until they are crispy and smoking* Kraden: Uh, Jenna, you really can't- Jenna: EASY. MODE. *gives Kraden deranged glare* Kraden: Oh, we're playing Easy Mode, are we? *gulps* But don't you still need Djinn? Jenna: ... We already have them all because the Director thinks it's too much hassle to be collecting them. Kraden: I see... okay... let's go then. And, Jenna, please try to be more gentle with people who aren't Adepts! Jenna: *looks at burned Ruffians who are barely moving* Uh... right. *Jenna, Kraden and Inu continue to Idejima.* Kraden: Ooh! A ship! This must be the one that Saturos and Menardi were talking about! *jumps in to explore* Jenna: Ugh... you're like a kid with a new toy! ... *waits* Kraden: *continues to explore* Jenna: ... ... Hurry up in there! Kraden: *jumps out* I can't make it move... Jenna: Uh? Why were you trying to make it move? Kraden: No particular reason... Jenna: Then it must be a dud boat! Kraden: How did it get here then? Jenna: Uh... good point... Kraden: I know. The... thingy that makes it go... Jenna: Thingy? Kraden: Yeah... that black orb that Saturos was carrying, that must have been it. Jenna: Oh, well, we'll just have to wait for them then. Alex: *appears* Jenna! Kraden! Inu: Arf! Alex: 0_o;;; Keep that demonic Fenrir away from me! Jenna: I'm so fed up of waiting already... Kraden: Why isn't Venus Lighthouse lit yet? Alex: *stares at Venus Lighthouse* Oh! Hey! It's lit! Kraden: Cool! But... should the ground be shaking so much? Jenna: I think it's getting worse. I can barely stand up! Inu: *whimpers* Kraden: Mercury Lighthouse didn't react this way. What makes Venus Lighthouse different? Alex: That last tremor just caused a rift through the Suhalla Range! *Idejima breaks off the continent and begins floating* Jenna: How are we supposed to get back to Gondowan now? Kraden: This makes no sense! A piece of land shouldn't be able to float over the ocean! Alex: Save your babbling for later! *Idejima continues to float away. Jenna and Kraden are lying on the ground and Alex is not in sight.* Jenna: Isaac must have been up there... I hope he's alright... Kraden: He may have been fighting with Saturos and Menardi... Jenna: Isaac... Felix... I miss them... Kraden: I sure am hungry. Jenna: How can you think about your stomach in a time like this? Kraden: You're cranky today... Jenna: I wish this stupid island would stop floating! And, you know. hit land or something. Alex: *walks up* I have something to show you two. Kraden: Ooh! Is there cheese? *jumps up* Jenna: *stands* Don't be stupid, Kraden... Alex: Come with me. *Alex, Jenna and Kraden walk to the beach where Inu is whining and sniffing at two people lying there* Jenna: Felix! Sheba! Kraden: Sheba, Felix! Jenna: *checks* They are alive... Kraden: *also checks* Yes, they really are! But, what is this? What happened, Alex? Alex: Hold on a minute while I gaze into my crystal ball. Oh, wait, I don't have one. I'm not a fortune teller! Jenna: ... You're a jerk. Kraden: T_T I guess it was a stupid question.