Golden Sun: The Broken Story --- And now for some insane fun. And yes, it is insane. Prepare yourselves. --- [Studio] Director: WHERE ARE MY COFFEE BEANS?! Isaac: What's wrong, Archibald? Director: Don't call me Archibald! Isaac: Ok, Archie. Director: Or that either! Garet: Napoleon's in a bad mood this morning... =/ Mia: I think Mr Director wants his coffee. Director: My coffee beans! My coffee beans are missing! *ransacks studio* Ivan: Guys, I think we'd better help him find his coffee. Mia: Yeah, I don't want to know what he's like without it... Garet: Heh heh... well, uh, I don't know where his coffee is or anything... Isaac: Garet! Where's his coffee? Ivan: *reads Garet's mind* In his pocket. Garet: *pulls out bag of coffee beans* Darnit, Ivan! Director: COFFEE!!! Garet: *throws the coffee beans at him* Sheesh... he's a nutcase. Mia: Well... now that's over, let's get on with the show! [Bilibin and Kolima] *The group enter Bilibin* Some random person: ONOZ! There is an awful curse on this town! A terrible, awful curse, I tells you! Isaac: I'm sorry? Some random person: We're gonna turn into trees! Trees! Garet: Huh, why? SRP: Because Lady McCoy wanted the lumberjacks to cut down the Holy Tree of Kolima to build her own palace! Ivan: Her... own palace? *looks at the Bilibin palace* You mean that building there just isn't big enough? Garet: Wow, she sure sounds spoiled and self-centred. SRP: And because of that, we've been horribly cursed! The people of Kolima turned into trees! We'll be next! Ivan: So... that tree at the entrance... was supposedly a person? SRP: It certainly was! We're doomed! DOOMED! Lord McCoy wants someone to end the curse, but if anybody tries, they might become a tree! Isaac: Hm... maybe we should go and talk to Lord McCoy. Ivan: *gulps* This sounds scary... Mia: This is so frighteningly random. Garet: I wonder how Camelot came up with this. Maybe they used to have nightmares about being chased by trees or something. Director: Hey! No breaking the fourth wall! *Isaac and co. approach the palace* Soldier: You there! Isaac: Huh? Soldier: Are you strong warriors? Ivan: Well, I faint a lot... Mia: I'm more of a healer than a fighter. But I do have a great arsenal of furbies. Garet: I sure am! Isaac: Uh... I guess I am... Soldier: Excellent! Then come with me to see Lord McCoy! Mia: Uh... did we even say we wanted to see him? Ivan: Well, that's what we came for, isn't it? Mia: But... *Isaac and co. are led into the palace and into a room where a fat, red-haired man is sitting* Lord McCoy: Eh, visitors? I cannae see so well. Come closer, laddies. Isaac: Uh... we wanted to talk about something. Garet: Ooh, he's eating something I haven't seen before. Ivan: I think I've seen it before in Kalay. I'm not sure what it is though. Isaac: Oh, yeah, I have to get some magic mushrooms while we're still here. I almost forgot about that. Whoops. Lord McCoy: So... yeh want some haggis? *holds up a plate* I've got plenty left over. Oooh... who is this wee lassie? Mia: Uh... I'm Mia. Lord McCoy: Och, what a beauty. Yeh can look up my kilt anytime! Garet: Um, what's a kilt? Lord McCoy: *stands on chair and reveals kilt* This! Garet: O_O Th-that's a... skirt... Lord McCoy: Nay, it's a kilt! *wobbles on chair and falls backward on floor* Augh! Isaac/Garet/Ivan: OUR EYES!!! @_@ Mia: *flushes* EEK! Lord McCoy: *sits back on chair* Sorry about that. Let me play these bagpipes as an apology to yeh. *starts playing* Isaac/Garet/Ivan: OUR EARS!!! ;_; Mia: *is fainted on ground in shame and embarassment* Lord McCoy: *finishes playing* Well? How was it? Isaac: That was the worst music I have ever heard. Garet: I thought cats were being murdered or something. Ivan: Must... get... revenge... ooh, I know. There's a mouse on the floor! Lord McCoy: A mouse?! *screams and jumps onto chair* Where? Where is it? *Suddenly, a draft of wind blows and lifts up his kilt* Isaac: @_@ *faints* Garet: UGH! *turns and sees Ivan with eyes closed while glowing* Ivan? Ivan: Y-yes? Garet: Do you remember that we glow when casting Psynergy? Ivan: Uh, yes... ... Uh oh. Lord McCoy: Oh! How shameful! I've gone and exposed my nethers to these young boys! *tries to put kilt back down* Soldier: *walking into room* Lord McCoy! Whatever are you doing? Garet: *grabs Ivan by shirt* What are you playing at?! Ivan: Well, I heard footsteps, so I figured I would embarass him when the person came into the room. I guess I should have warned you first. Lord McCoy: It... it isn't what it looks like! Soldier: My goodness! You sicken me! Director: CUT! CUT! What the hell is going on here?! Lord McCoy: *sits down* That boy played a prank on me! Ivan: *gulps* Garet: Ivan... you should know better than to annoy the director... Ivan: Heh... heh... I'm sorry? Director: Lord McCoy, stay sitting on that chair! Ivan, one more disgusting prank and I shall... well, do something. I don't know what it is yet. Now let's get back to this parody, shall we? *Isaac and Mia are given smelling salts, and eventually, everyone is ready to continue the scene.* Lord McCoy: Ahem... so what are yeh here for? Isaac: We want to help save the people of Kolima. Lord McCoy: Eh, yeh wee laddies wish to help? Yeh are nothing but children! Mia: I'm not a laddy. Ivan: You're not even required to be in this scene. Mia: But... still... he should say... people! It's gender discrimination, I tell you! He is not acknowledging a woman is present! Ivan: Oh, brother... Lord McCoy: I wonder... *puts key on table* Should I let you? Isaac: Um, please? Lord McCoy: Nay, I changed my mind. *snatches key back* Now get outta here! Garet: You'd rather let everyone turn into trees? You monster! Ivan: Um... but, you know... that curse turns you into a tree. It's scary... Mia: But the people need us... Lord McCoy: Sorry, laddies, but the future of Kolima is better left to more experienced men. Mia: I'M NOT A LADDY! Isaac: Uh... please, won't you reconsider? Lord McCoy: Nay. Isaac: Not even for cheese? Lord McCoy: Nay. Isaac: Not even for the One Ring? Director: Ugh. *grumbles and drinks coffee* Lord McCoy: Nay! Isaac: Well, how about... uh... Alchemy? Lord McCoy: I said, NAY! Garet: He's starting to sound like a noisy horse. Ivan: Let's just go, Isaac... Mia: What a stubborn, sexist man... Soldier: I'll escort you out. *does so* Oh, and you might not need a key to get through the Bilibin Barricade, but you didn't hear it from me, okay? Isaac: Uh... right. Anyway, better go buy those magic mushrooms, then we can leave Bilibin. *The group leaves Bilibin and walks to Bilibin Barricade* Ivan: Okay... Garet, why don't you figure out how to get through the barricade? Garet: *stares at barricade* Um... er... uh... Isaac: *twitches* Garet: I... don't know... hm... Isaac: ........... Garet: I know! Let's use our Psynergy! Mia: Well, that wasn't too bad. Garet: Maybe we should move the crates! Wow, it sure is a cheap barricade. Ivan: That's just as well. *Isaac and co pass through the barrier and see some fallen trees* Mia: Look! Some of the tree-people are lying down! Ivan: Interesting. Perhaps they were sleeping on the ground when they got turned into trees. Garet: But that tree's in the water. Why would someone be in the water? Isaac: Well, maybe someone thought it needed water and... er... maybe not. Ivan: *mind reads the trees* This is bad! Someone pushed the trees over and they think that tree could get swept downstream. If it turns back into a person, the person could drown! Mia: Then let's hurry and save it already! Isaac: I'm right on it! *moves the tree out of the water* Ivan: We've got to turn these trees back into people... but I really don't want to get turned into a tree myself. Garet: And if we get turned into trees, who's going to save the world? Isaac: *opens mouth* Garet: DON'T. SAY. IT. Isaac: T_T Ivan: Kolima's counting on us... I just hope we don't become trees. Mia: Alright, let's hurry to Kolima and save the trees! I mean, the people. *The group goes to Kolima* Isaac: Hm, it's really quiet here. Garet: Maybe everyone went on vacation! Isaac: I doubt it. Mia: There sure are a lot of trees wearing clothes here. Ivan: *goes and reads a random tree's mind* Tree: (thinking) Oh, I remember the good old days when I was human. I wonder if I am a cute tree? I sure hope so. Ivan: !!! *walks back to group* These trees... were human once. Isaac: How did this happen? Mia: This is awful! All the trees wearing clothes are really Kolima's villagers! Ivan: ??? Garet: What's the matter now, Ivan? Ivan: There's strange sparkly stuff on the ground. Isaac: Maybe it's fairy dust. Mia: Or drugs! Isaac: But why would drugs be lying on the ground? Mia: Um... maybe... a clumsy junkie was here? Garet: Don't be silly, Mia. Mia: But... you know, this strange white stuff lying around just looks suspicious! Ivan: What if it's the stuff that turned everyone into trees? Isaac: Yikes! Garet: Hey, cool. The sky's turning purple. *Waves of light suddenly flow down on the group* Ivan: My mind! Something's invading my mind! Mia: I... I can't stand up any longer! *Isaac, Garet, Ivan and Mia lie on the ground* Isaac: Well, time to snooze then... zzzzzzz -_- Ivan: There's... stuff falling from the sky... Garet: Sparkly stuff... it's the sparkly stuff! Mia: Oh no! If that stuff touches us, we'll turn into trees! *struggles* Ivan: *also struggles* It's no good... I can't get up... Isaac: Zzzzzzzzz Garet: I can't get up either... Mia: I guess... this is it then... Ivan: May our roots dig deep and our branches reach high... Isaac: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Garet: I'll miss... not being able to eat... food. *The sparkly stuff reaches them, just as funky blue domes pop up over them* Isaac: u_u Zzzzzzz Garet: Huh? Ivan: These domes... what are they? Mia: We're not turning into trees? *Sparkly stuff stops falling, the sky goes back to normal and the domes vanish* Garet: Isaac, do you think those domes saved us? Isaac: *wakes up* Huh... what domes? Mia: Well, I think they did... Ivan: I think I know what it was. It was our Psynergy. Garet: *jumps up* What? I never used any Psynergy! ... Oh, hey, I can stand! Everyone, you can get up now! *Everyone does so* Ivan: We thought Psynergy was only used when we concentrate, right? Garet: Uh huh. I used to concentrate so hard, I thought my head would explode. Mia: Eww... Isaac: But then again, with Garet, the smallest amount of thinking might make his head explode. Garet: Hey! Ivan: What if there is some left over, which is only used when we really need it? Garet: Is it kind of like when we strike critical hits in battle? Mia: Sounds about right. Garet: Cool! We should harness this power, right, Isaac? Isaac: Except this little plot device is swiftly forgotten about and never even brought up again, so I guess not. Garet: Uh... *The sky goes purple again* Mia: The sky! It's happening again! *Blue domes surround them and sparkly stuff falls* Isaac: So these are the blue domes you were talking about! Garet: *sigh* How could you even sleep through the scary stuff? Tret: HROOM! Mia: Ack! Ivan: What was that? Tret: Why aren't they turning into trees?! Garet: Um... maybe because we don't want to be trees? Laurel: So, these people are resistant to Tret's glamour? Awesome! Maybe they came to save Kolima! Hey, could you people hurry into the forest and make Tret nice again please? Tret: Silence, Laurel! I shall always be evil! Muahahahaha! Kolima took their axes to me so I got annoyed and turned them all into trees! Hahahahahaha! *Freaky stuff stops and sky returns to normal* Ivan: So this Tret... turned them into trees? Isaac: Well, we know what we have to do next! Garet: That's right! We have to go into the forest and teach Tret a lesson. Mia: Let's hurry and save the people of Kolima! Isaac: However, there is one very important thing I must do first. Garet: Huh, something more important? Ivan: I wonder what it could be? Mia: Well? Isaac: I must get that Djinni behind the fence. *climbs over fence and gets it* Garet: Isaac, weren't you supposed to go into the house and then through an underground passage to get it? Isaac: No, I'm lazy. *climbs back over fence* Okay, let's go save them now.