Isaac [Before the Play] Caz: Ok... editing... cut out Kraden's part- Ivan: Um, you can't... Caz: WHY? Sheba: Because I think we're supposed to know about him spying on Felix. Caz: ... Alright, fine... and who's playing Reynaldo anyway? Mia: Shouldn't you know? Caz: That's the problem, I don't know! Garet: Who's Reynaldo? Jenna: Shut up, Garet! Felix: I think spying is very rude! Piers: Kraden's character sure is nosy... Jenna: And talks too much... Felix: ...No difference there then. Caz: Who is Reynaldo?! Isaac: The random dude that walked past? Garet: My mom? Ivan: Polonius's friend? Mia: Reynaldo? Caz: Useless! Hama: Um... Caz: Don't say anything unless you need to! Hama: Er... Jenna: The ghost! Felix: Someone who stole your Ibuprofen? Hama: AHEM... Sheba: A psycho? Piers: Probably a long haired guy who loves himself- Alex: Talking about me? Hama: EXCUSE ME- Piers: Of course not... ^_______________^;;;;;; Hama: HEY- Caz: Find Reynaldo NOW! Ivan: Is Reynaldo played by a man or woman? Caz: ... Hama: Hello? Caz: What? Hama: I'm... Reynaldo? Caz: Why didn't you say so earlier?! Hama: *slaps forehead* Caz: Now that we've found the player, the play can continue! Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia, Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Piers, Alex: *groan* Caz: WHAT?! Isaac, Garet, Ivan, Mia, Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Piers, Alex: ^________________^;;;;;; [Begin Play] ~*~*~ [Act 2, Scene 1] ~*~*~ [Enter Kraden and Hama] Kraden: Give him this money and these notes, Hama. Hama: Wow, this is a lot of money. What's he doing, buying a palace? Kraden: You shall do marvels wisely, good Hama- Hama: Marvels? Like making a rabbit in a hat disappear? Kraden: Before you visit him, you make inquiry of his behaviour. Hama: I don't need to make inquiries ^_^ Right now he's... er, never mind... Kraden: No, what? Hama: Never mind! ^_^ Kraden: Please... Hama: My Lord, I did attend it. Kraden: ... Marry, well said- Ivan: No, don't marry him, Sis! Hama: I wasn't going to... Ivan: Phew! ^_^ Kraden: Very well said. Look you said, Miss, Enquire me first what Valeans are in Prox and how and who and what means they keep- Hama: Yes, and the colour of their underwear too? Kraden: Yes, yes, that too, anything, what company, at what expense, and finding by this encompasse and drift of question that they do know my son. Come you more nearer than your particular demands will touch it- Ivan: EWW! Pervert! Hama: Ivan, these parts are played by men, I don't think there's supposed to be pervertedness involved. Isaac: It still sounded wrong! Caz: SHUT UP! Isaac/Ivan: ............. Kraden: Take you as were some distant knowledge of him, and thus I know that his father and his friends and in part him. Do you mark this, Hama? Hama: I, very well, my Lord. Kraden: And in part him, but you may say not well; But if't be he I mean, hes very wild; Hama: Well, what can he do if a monster's trying to have a snack? Kraden: Addicted so and so; Ivan: Addicted to unleashing Megiddo? Caz: Ivan! Ivan: Oops. Kraden: and there put on him What forgeries you please; marry, none so rank, As may dishonour him; take heed of that: But Sir, such wanton, wild, and usual slips, As are Companions noted and most known To youth and liberty. Hama: So basically you want me to frame him for being a naughty boy? Kraden: Exactly! Hama: But why? Kraden: Actually, I don't know... Hama: o_o As gambling, my Lord... Kraden: Or drinking, fencing- Isaac: Which means to play with a sword! Fun! ^_^ Caz: ...Isaac... Kraden: Swearing- Garet: Aw, come on, what's wrong with swearing? Damn rambling old crank bastard. Mia: Come here, Garet! Garet: O...k... *walks up to Mia* Yes? Mia: Close your eyes. Garet: ^____^ -____________- Mia: *smacks Garet over head with mace and he falls down unconscious* Sorted ^_^ Kraden: Quarreling, drabbing- Hama: What IS drabbing? Kraden: I don't know, being drab? Hama: But that means being boring then. Sheba: Now that's bad! Kraden: You may go so far. Hama: My Lord, that would dishonour him. Kraden: Faith, no, as... Hama: @________@ *faints* Ivan: Hama? Hama: *twitches* Caz: Call a medic! Anything! Eventually, some people come and drag Hama away. Kraden: ...was it something I said? Caz: =O HAMA! Piers: It's too late! She got up, bashed some people over the head and ran off! Caz: >=) *summons Hama with scary Author Powers* Hama: Wh-what am I doing here? Caz: Indeed, Kraden doth talk too much but that is thy probleme, so hold your wishes and continue do with the play, otherwise thy brother shall be presented to and consumed by them evil hamsters far yonder. Got that? Hama: English, please? Caz: LISTEN TO KRADEN AND CONTINUE THE SCENE OR I'LL FEED IVAN TO RABID HAMSTERS! Ivan: O_O Hama: ......... fine! Kraden: Faith no, as you may season it in the charge; Isaac: With garlic and thyme! ^_^ Kraden: You must not put another scandal on him, Hama: But that's what you're asking me to do! Kraden: That he is open to Incontinency; That's not my meaning: but breath his faults so quaintly, That they may seem the taints of liberty; The flash and out-breake of a fiery mind, Hama: Now that you talk about MINDS... Kraden: A savageness in unreclaimed blood of general assault. Hama: o_O Felix: I think this is stupid! How come they get away with it? Caz: Because youre supposed to be in Prox. Now, go away! Felix: No! Caz: *zaps Felix with scary author powers and turns him into a cat* Felix: O____________O Ivan: *cackles* Felix the Cat! Felix: *bites Caz on the leg* Caz: Ow! Stupid thing! *stuffs Felix in a box* Jenna: Was that Felix you just turned into a cat? Caz: No! Absolutely not! ^_________^ Jenna: Then why is everybody finding it so hilarious? Caz: Because they are crack addicts. Kraden, Hama, get on with it! Hama: B-but my Good Lord. Kraden: Wherefore should you do this? Hama: In Prox? Kraden: No, WHY should you do this? Hama: Why didn't you just SAY why? Kraden: ..... Hama: I, my Lord, I would know that. Kraden: Marry Miss, heere's my drift, And I believe it is a fetch of warrant: Sheba: What, search warrant? Kraden: You laying these slight sulleys on my Son, Isaac: Fencing's about as slight as you can get ~_^ Kraden: As tt were a thing a little soiled in the working: sound, Marke you your party in converse; him you would Hama: Yay! I can have a party! Ivan: With cake? Hama: Sure! Kraden: Having ever seen. In the prenominate crimes, The youth you breath of guilty, be assured He closes with you in this consequence: Good madam, or so, or friend, or Faran. According to the Phrase and the Addition, Of man and Country Hama: Very good my lord... whatever you said, but I got that bit about having parties. Kraden: And then Miss does he this? He does: what was I about to say? I was about say something: where did I leave? Hama: You forgot what you were going to say already? At closes in the consequence: At friend, or so, and Gentleman. Kraden: At closes in the consequence, I marry, He closes with you thus. I know Faran, I saw him yesterday, or the other day; Or then or then, with such and such; and as you say, There was he gaming, there o'retook in's Rouse, There falling out at Tennis; or perchance, I saw him enter such a house of sail; Videlicet, a Brothel, or so forth. See you now; Your bait of falsehood, takes this Cape of truth; Hama: You mean I get my very own cape? Neat! Kraden: And thus do we of wisedome and of reach With windlesses, and with assaies of Bias, By indirections find directions out: So by my former Lecture and advice Hama: Can I go now? Kraden: Farewell. Hama: YAY! *runs off faster than, er, something that's fast* [Enter Jenna] Kraden: How now, Jenna, what's the matter? Jenna: You. -_- Kraden: o_O Jenna: Er, I mean, alas my Lord, I have been so 'affrighted' Kraden: With what, in the name of heaven? Jenna: Well, this morning, I got up and I looked in the mirror- Piers: Now that's a sight to scare anybody- Jenna: AND MY HAIR WAS IN DISARRAY! Mia: Jenna, it's called 'bed hair'. Jenna: It was still frightening. Anyway, my lord, as I was sewing in my Chamber, Isaac, with his er, doublet, unbraced, no hat upon his head- Ivan: Uh, Jenna? Jenna: WHAT? Ivan: Isaac never wears a hat. Jenna: Oh, I forgot... Ivan: ........ Jenna: His stockings fouled, ungarted, and down to his ankles- Sheba: What's wrong with socks down to the ankles? Mia: I'd love to see his legs too ~_^ Jenna: #O___________O# N-no, that's not it... Sheba: You LIKED it! ^_^ Jenna: Ahhhhh... pale as his shirt, his knees knocking each other- Mia: Omigosh! You saw Isaac's KNEES? Sheba: Way to go, Jenna! Jenna: SHUT UP! #-_-# A-and with a look so pitious in purpose, As if he had been loosed out of Hell, to speak of horrors: he comes before me. Mia: Oh yeah, Isaac came to see you... dead scary. Isaac: I'm not that scary! ToT Sheba: Maybe she was scared she might be caught canoodling with him ~_^ Jenna: Who are you to accuse me of 'canoodling' with Isaac?! Garet: >=\ Isaac! You canoodled with Jenna? Box: HISSSSS!!! Caz: Hmm, a hissing box? I wonder why *whistles* Ivan: Turn him back now! Isaac: No! I never! Sheba: Then why was Jenna scared? Mia: You... canoodlers! Garet: Isaac and Jenna canoodled! *sob* Jenna: We never! Sheba: Yeah right! Box: HISSSS! Caz: Shut up! *grabs box, turns it upside downs and quickly zaps the cat back into Felix* Now will you shut up? Felix: No! I'm going to make Isaac pay for canoodling with my sis- *knocked unconscious by flying object* Caz: Whew... Piers: What exactly does canoodling mean? Caz: Just getting it on. Piers: Oh... Jenna: WE NEVER CANOODLED! Kraden: Mad for thy love? Jenna: ...NO! Sheba: ...hey, you're supposed to be a couple, remember? Jenna: Oh... Isaac: ...oh, sweet Jenna... Jenna: Shut up, Isaac o_o;;; Um, My lord, I do not know, but truly I fear it- *hears laughter* What? Mia: S-sorry! Hehe... no... sorry... Sheba: *cackles* Jenna: .......... It's NOT funny! Kraden: What said he? Mia: I love you! XD Isaac: Mi...a... ~_~;;; Mia: Heh heh... >=) Jenna: He took me by the wrist and held me hard- Mia/Sheba: WHOOOHOOOO! You go, girl! Felix: *twitches* Isaac: ..... o_o He's moving... *backs away* Jenna: Then goes he to the length of all his arm; Ivan: He went to his arm? How did he do THAT? Jenna: And with his other hand thus over his brow, He falls to such perusall of my face, Mia: You mean, he examined her face! WHOA! Isaac: Shut up! x_x Felix: So he did, huh? Isaac: O_____________O I never... Garet: Liar! Canoodler! Isaac: *whimpers* Jenna: As he would draw it. Long stood he so, At last, a little shaking of mine Arm: Sheba: He shook your arm? Sweet. Jenna: And thrice his head thus waving up and down; Felix: That's not unusual ¬_¬ Isaac: Same goes for you! Felix: Oh, yeah... Sheba: Jenna is so lucky... ^_^ Jenna: He raised a sigh, so piteous and profound, That it did seeme to shatter all his bulk, And end his being. That done, he lets me go, And with his head over his shoulders turned, He seemed to find his way without his eyes, For out adores he went without their help; And to the last, bended their light on me. Mia/Sheba: AWWWWWWW!!! Jenna: SHUT UP! Kraden: Come with me, we will go seek the King. This is the very ecstasy of Love. Felix: WHAT? Garet: Swine! Mia: Whoohoo! I... I'm not upset! ...Honest... Sheba: Way to go, Jenna! He's got his sights on you! Isaac: AHHH! x__________X; N-no! Save me! Mia? Mia: *whistles* Isaac: Garet? Garet: *turns away* Ivan: Sweet... Piers: That's nice... Kraden: Whose violent propertly foredoes itself. And leads the will to desperate Undertakings. As often as any passion under Heaven That does afflict our Nature. I am sorry, What have you given him any hard words as of late? Jenna: No my good Lord, but as you did command, I did repel his letters and denied his access to me. Mia: AWW! How could you? I could never do that to Isaac! Sheba: Felix! Felix: Huh, what did I do? Sheba: She actually paid attention to your lecture! Felix: I never said for her not to talk to Isaac! Listen, she said 'as YOU did command' not 'as FELIX did command' Mia/Sheba: KRADEN! Kraden: Huh, what did I do? Garet: Oh, Jenna... Isaac: ... Kraden: That hath made him mad- Isaac: Oh yeah, I'm so angry, rrraarrrh... :[ Ivan: Ah, the bloom of youth doth grow within Isaac, his nature but of a child newly born from a womb- Isaac: Youre saying I'm immature? Ivan: Uh, hehehehe ^_^;;;;; Piers: I think it is mad... in the opposite sense... Felix: As in insane? Piers: Exactly. Felix: Well, it's not MY fault... Kraden: I am sorry that with better speed and judgement, I had not quoted him. I fear he did but trifle, And meant to wrack thee- Garet: Wrack? Caz: Wreck? Garet: Isaac tried to wreck Jenna! DIE- Felix: Er, that's exactly what he's doing, and it leads to suicide- You DID read the whole thing, right? Garet: Huh? Jenna: *sigh* He's hopeless. Isaac: I could never wreck my dear Jenna- Jenna: Don't call me dear! I get enough of that from Alex... v_v;;; Isaac: I apologise, my darling- XD Jenna: And you can think again on the 'darling' as well! Isaac: O_O Okay... Kraden: But beshrew my jealousy- Ivan: He's jealous? ..... Eww! *shot by tranquiliser dart and collapses* Caz: Dirty mind... Kraden: It seems it is as proper to our Age, To cast beyond our selves in our Opinions, As it is common for the younger sort, To lack discretion. Come, go we to the King, This must be known, being kept close might move More grief to hide, then hate to utter love. Jenna: Er, whatever you say... [Exit All] [Act 2, Scene 2] [Enter Briggs, Dora, Ivan and Sheba] Ivan: Ugggh..... hurt...... Sheba: Well, you shouldn't have commented on the jealousy then... Ivan: But... sounded...... wrong... Sheba: Like the Shaman's Rod, remember that? Ivan: The.... wait........ not funny....... Sheba: Still, everybody going on about the rod was kind of funny considering it was mostly males going on about it. 'I've lost my rod' ... funny, huh? Ivan: Shut...... up......... Briggs: Welcome, dear Ivan and Sheba, to another one of the ridiculously long speeches I am forced to give. Moreover, that we couldn't have cared less to see you, or I at least Ivan/Sheba: HEY! Briggs: The need we have to see you did provoke our hasty sending, Something you have heard of Isaac's transformation or so I call it, since he frankly has gone barking mad. Dora: That's my son you're talking about! Sheesh... Briggs: And since you two are his friends, you could help. You should be safe here and can rest here. So spend some time with him. Ivan: That was brief. Sheba: Hey, he's got to be sick of long speeches now, right? Ivan: That's true. Sheba: Um... Ivan: Huh? Sheba: Are you Rosencrantz or Guildenstern? Ivan: I don't know... are you Guildenstern or Rosencrantz? Sheba: Oh who cares, they're both the same! Ivan: Um, we'll do whatever you say. Sheba: How come there's no fluff between them? Ivan: O_O Who, Isaac and Jenna? Isaac/Jenna: Dream on ~_~ Sheba: No! Rosencrantz and Guildenstern! Ivan: Um, lets go now ^^; Dora: I thank you both, Ivan and Sheba. Cure my son, oh, and remember- *whisper* He likes the girl called Jenna. Ivan/Sheba: *nod* ^_________^ Isaac: Mom! What did you say? Dora: Oh, nothing, dearie ^_^ [Exit Ivan and Sheba] [Enter Kraden] Kraden: The messengers came back from Tolbi! =D Briggs: Cool! =D Kraden: Oh, and I know why Isaac is insane! Dora: That's incredible! ^_^ [Enter Uzume and Kushinada] Briggs: Hullo! Uzume: Greetings. Kushinada: Er, hi. Briggs: What news from Tolbi? Uzume: Oh, nothing much, but I hear some Alex guy might come over. Kushinada: Yeah... Briggs: Oh, I see. Thanks for telling! ^_^ [Exit Uzume and Kushinada] Kraden: Now for my news. Isaac is insane. Dora: Yes, we knew that already. Kraden: Wait, let me get to the next bit! I have found out why he is insane. This might help, a letter from Isaac to Jenna. Jenna: WHAT?! You nosy old man! Isaac: My letter! Jenna: Your letter? Isaac: Yeah... wait... Mia: Youve been writing to Jenna? =O Isaac: Aaaaaaaaaaah! No...! I haven't...! Jenna: Isaaaaaaac......! Isaac: W-wait, it can't be... Garet: Scum... Mia: ... Kraden: *presents a letter and reads it out* To my dear, most amazing, most beautiful maiden Jenna, Your fire consumes my very heart, For I am forever lost in your beautiful eyes, But as the script goes, the letter must go, my love, Doubt thou, the stars are fire- Ivan: They are hydrogen balls. Sheba: Same thing. Ivan: Is not! Sheba: Is too! Kraden: Ahem... Doubt, that the sun does move- Isaac: Uh, it doesn't move. Jenna: Exactly. Mia: So the letter is a lie! =D Felix: Because it says to doubt that the sun moves? Piers: I guess. Ivan: ......... I'm confused. Kraden: Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt, I love, Oh, dear Jenna, I am ill, I have not art to reckon my.... groins? *snickering* Kraden: Oh, GROANS! .... But that I love you best. Believe it. From the most aggrieved, insane Isaac. Isaac: I swear it's a fake letter! Mia: You dirty dog! Isaac: O_O Sheba: Isaac and Jenna, sitting in a tree- Jenna: SHUT UP!!! Garet: No! Die! Felix: ... I'm speechless... Sheba: As usual ~_^ Felix: ....hey! Kraden: I said for her to keep away from him, and in turn, it drove him insane. Dora: It's your fault! *starts hitting Kraden with a handbag* You turn my son insane! Kraden: Ow! Ow! Briggs: So what should we do? Kraden: Um, we wait until Isaac is having a walk in a quiet place, let Jenna there, and hide behind a tapestry ^_^ Briggs: Good idea. Dora: You nosy men, spying on the children! *hits Kraden and Briggs with handbag* [Enter Isaac] Briggs: *gasp* It's Isaac! Kraden: RUN! [Exit Briggs and Kraden] Dora: Rude men... hey... KRADEN! [Enter Kraden] Kraden: Oh, I apologise, I am in this scene. Dora: ................ [Exit Dora] Kraden: So, how are you, Isaac? Isaac: ... Well, the pink rabbit ate my hair, so I've got a green hamster on my foot at the moment. Kraden: I see. So, you know me? Isaac: Yeah, you're the Sorcerer Banana, come to slay the legions of Sharp Pencils. Kraden: Er, not me. Isaac: Drat! He's supposed to be here! Kraden: Here? Isaac: Yes, he comes with a flurry of grey lint. I see no grey lint. Evil man. How dare you not come with grey lint. The GREY LINT SHALL PREVAIL! Kraden: Er, okay. Isaac: For if the curtains breed elephants in a twitching kangaroo, being a good kissing.... er, sponge... have you a daughter? Kraden: Er, in the play? Yeah... Isaac: Let her not walk into the sun, for it burns, despite her being a Mars Adept. Jenna: You can't walk into the sun, pillock! Mia: He's insane, remember? Jenna: Oh.... Isaac: Conception is a blessing- Jenna: WHAT?! Felix: You dare?! Garet: With who? O_O Mia: Order! Order! Shut up boys! Isaac: But not as your daughter may conceive. Jenna: #O_________O# Sheba: So cute, Jenna, he wants to get you pre- Jenna: *grabs Sheba in a headlock* Oh, what did you say, Sheba? Sheba: Preoccupied with his love! ^_^ Jenna: ................... Isaac: Friend look to it. Kraden: How say you by that. Still harping on about Jenna despite him thinking I was the Sorcerer Banana- Isaac: Talking to yourself is a sign of insanity. Kraden: Augh! Er, what do you read? Isaac: *looks at empty hands* I read....... the invisible Book of Doom. Kraden: Er, I'd better be going now... [Exit Kraden] [Enter Ivan and Sheba] Isaac: O_O Ivan: *looks at script* Hang on... Secret parts of fortune? Caz: *runs in very quickly and takes scripts from their hands* Sorry, these matters are too mature for kids like you ^_^ *edits script* Sheba: Dirty was it? *takes script back* Caz: Very perverted. Isaac: Hi, Ivan, hi, Sheba! How does the cat bark today? Ivan: Not at all, my friend ^_^' Isaac: Alas! For the horse will turn BLUE! Sheba: Isaac... Isaac: Yeah, I'm tired of it too. So, did my mom, and Briggs, send for you? Ivan: OH, absolutely! Sheba: They were so kind ^_^ Ivan: Hey! We bought in some entertainment for you! Isaac: YAY! [Enter Players] Isaac: Oh. *looks disappointed* Er, dudes, you are welcome to Vale. Ivan: ......? Isaac: You said entertainment, it's just a bunch of people. Sheba: What's entertainment to you? Isaac: Kicking Dullahan's backside ^_^ Ivan/Sheba: OOOOOOH! >=) Isaac: And guess what? Sheba: You canoodled with Jenna? ~_^ Isaac: ..... Ivan: What? Isaac: ....I'm not insane =D Sheba: Oh. Ivan: Hey, this chapter's getting too long. Caz: Skip to Isaac's soliloquy! Isaac: You're....kidding...aren't....you? Caz: You can shorten it! [Exit Ivan, Sheba and Players] Isaac: The play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the King! For I will make them do a play where there's this married couple, and one of them has a sibling, and the sibling kills their sibling and runs off with the sibling-in-law! Oh, and CHEESE! [Exit Isaac] [End of Act 2!] ~*~*~ End ~*~*~ Caz: Ugh... Act 2 was way too long... Isaac: I think it was the shortest, it took up one chapter! Mia: It's too long already. Lets just shut up now. Jenna: Don't forget to review!