Isaac [Before the play] Felix: *whimpers* I think my sister's going to kill me... Caz: Aww, poor baby... Felix: You're mean! ;o; Jenna: If anybody says anything...'wrong' to me, they will get killed... that includes YOU... Felix: Meep! o_o; Mia: *claps* Let the play begin! Caz: Hey, I'M the director! Mia: o___O ~*~*~ [Act 1, Scene 3] ~*~*~ [Enter Felix, and Jenna] Jenna: Why does his name come before mine? [He's your older brother, duh!] Jenna: Wow, the captioning has attitude! [... Shut up.] Felix: My necessities are imbark't, Farewell. And Sister, as the Winds give Benefit, and Convoy is assistant, doe not sleep- Jenna: You're telling me not to sleep? o_O Felix: ...But let me hear from you. Jenna: Do you doubt that? Felix: For Isaac, and the triflings of his favour- Jenna: Oh no, not a Big Brother lecture... *groans* Felix: Yes, a lecture... Hold it a fashion and a toy in Blood, A violet in the youth of Primy Nature- Jenna: What did you say? Felix: No clue... Forward, not permanent, sweet not lasting. The suppliance of a minute? No more. Jenna: No more but so. Felix: Think it no more. For nature cressant does not grow alone. In thewes and bulks, but as his Temple waxes- Jenna: Isaac has a Temple?! Felix: -The inward service of Mind and Soul, Grows wide withall. Perhaps he loves you now, And now no soyel or cautell doth besmirch- Jenna: Soyel? Cautell? Can't you just speak English? Felix: -The virtue of his fierce, but you must fear His greatness weighed, his will is not his own. For he himself is subject to his Birth- Jenna: So basically he can't marry me because he's a Prince? Felix: Precisely. He may not... oh sod it, I'll skip a few lines... Then if he says he loves you, It fits your wisdom so far to believe it, As he in his peculiar sect and force, May give his saying deed which is no further. Then the main voice of Vale goes withall, Then weigh what loss your Honour may sustain, if with too credent ear you list his Songs;- Jenna: Isaac sings? Isaac: Yeah! (sings) Ohhhhh, I doooooo liiiike to beeee besiiiiiides the seeeaaaaasiiiiiiiiiide- Caz: SHUT UP, ISAAC! Felix: ... Or lose your heart, or your chast Treasure open. To his unmastered importunity. Fear it, Jenna, feare it my dear sister. And keep within the reare of your Affection. Out of the shot and danger of Desire, The chariest Maid is Prodigal enough- Jenna: What is a chariest Maid? Are you calling me one? Felix: If she unmask her beauty to the Moon... Vertue it self not escape not calumnious stroakes, The Canker Galls, the Infants of the Spring, Too oft the buttons be disclosed- Jenna: #O_O# FELIX! What was THAT about buttons?! Felix: Wha- oh... No! I did NOT mean THAT! Stop thinking like that- Jenna: You pervert! *tosses fireball at Felix* Felix: *dodges* Just let me get on with it! And in the Morne and liquid dew of Youth, Contagious blastments are most imminent... Be wary then, best safety lies in fear. Youth to it self rebels, though none else near. Jenna: I shall the effects of this good (rubbish, pathetic, perverted) lesson keep, As watchmen to my heart, but good my Brother, Do not as some ungracious Pastors do Show me the steepe and thorny way to Heaven, whilst like a puff and reckless Libertine... puff?! PUFF?! Felix: Is something wrong? Jenna: I'M NOT FAT! Felix: No, you're not, it's ok, keep reading... Jenna: ... Himself, the primrose path of dalliance treads, Garet: Why would anybody deliberately step on primroses? Isaac: Shut up, Garet. Jenna: And reaks not his own read. Felix: Oh feare me not. Jenna: Anybody who fears you would have to be crazier than a rabbit on crack- Felix: Why are you so mean to me, dear sister? Jenna: Because of your perverted manner, 'dear' brother... Felix: o_O I'm not perverted! [Enter Kraden] Felix: I stay too long, but here my father comes. A double blessing is a double grace. Occasion smiles upon a second leave. Kraden: Yet here, Felix? Aboard, aboard for shame- Kraden: The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail. And you are staid for there: my blessing with you. And these few Precepts in thy memory. See thy Character. Give thy thoughts no tongue. Nor any Unproportion'd thought his Act. Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. The friends thou hast and their adoption tride, Grapple them to thy soul- Felix: I have to grapple them? How mean. Kraden: But do not dull thy Palm with entertainment- Felix: You mean gamble? AWESOME! I like gambling! ^_^ Jenna: *grabs Felix's ear* Really? Felix: *winces* Hey, I'm old enough! Jenna: ...very well... *lets go* Kraden: Of each unhatch, unfledged Comrade. Beware of entrace to a quarrel but being in Bear it that the opposed may beware of thee- Felix: You talk too much... Kraden: Anyway, I think you get the point. Farewell: My blessing season this in thee. Felix: Most humbly do I take my leave, my Lord. Kraden: The time invites you, go, your servants tend. Felix: Farewell, Jenna, and remember well What I have said to you. Jenna: Tis in my memory locked, And you your selfe shall keep the key of it. Felix: Farewell. [Exit- Hey, what gives?] Jenna: *is holding Felix very tightly around the waist* Felix: Can't breathe... Jenna: YOU THINK YOU CAN GO TO PROX WITHOUT ME?! Felix: I have to... Jenna: =\ Felix: Let...me... go... suffocating... *turns blue in the face* Jenna: Oops. *lets go* Felix: *collapses* Jenna: Hey, stop lying down! You've got to go to Prox! Felix: T_T *struggles to his feet and runs for dear life* [Exit Felix, finally.] Kraden: What is it, Jenna, he has said to you? Jenna: I have no clue. Kraden: You must have an idea. Jenna: Oh, okay, he told me not to jump into bed with Isaac and do it, alright? Kraden: ... Jenna: He did! Said some crap about me and Isaac! I didn't understand a word of it either! Kraden: Oh... anyway, what's going on between you and Isaac? Jenna: He has made many tenders of his affection towards me... (nosy old git) Kraden: Affection, huh. You speak like a green girl- Jenna: o_O I'm not green! Kraden: Unsifted in perilous circumstances, Do you believe his tenders as you call them? Jenna: I do not know, my lord, what I should think. Kraden: Marry I'l' teach you. Think yourself a baby. Jenna: One! I'll never marry you- Caz: NOOOO! That's not what he said! Jenna: Two! I'd never think myself a baby! Caz: *zaps Jenna with Scary Author Powers* Jenna: *is now a baby* Goo ga? Caz: That sorted her. Keep talking Kraden. Kraden: O_o; Then you have tane his tenders for true pay, which are not starling. Tender your self more dearly, Or not to crack the wind of the poor phrase. Roaming it thus, you'll tender me a fool. Caz: *zaps Jenna again* Jenna (5 years old) You are a fool, silly man! Caz: *zaps Jenna once more* Jenna: *is now 75* Caz: Oh, boogers! >_< Kraden: *wolf whistles* Isaac: KRADEN! >_< Jenna: (high, wheezy voice) I'll... make you pay... Lord, he hath... importune me with... love... In honourable fashion... ooh, my back! Kraden: I, fashion as you may call it, go too, go too. Jenna: And hath... given... countenance to his speech... My lord, with all the vowes of Heaven... Caz: This is getting annoying *zaps Jenna again* Jenna: *is 10 years old with orange hair* Caz: Oops. I really can't get the hang of this power. Kraden: Look, just don't fall in love with him, you're not supposed to. Now come, let us forget this silly scene. Jenna: One problem, mister! Caz: o_o; *zaps Jenna once more* Jenna: *back to normal* Thank you! I shall obey, my lord... hey! Why must I obey you? Kraden: Because you must respect your elders. Jenna: Oh... Can I kill Caz for abusing her Scary Author Powers first? Caz: *zaps Jenna, turning her into a frog* Jenna: o_O;;; Croak! Ribbit, ribbit cro-o-ak! Kraden: If she's a frog, how can she play her part? Caz: Aww, do I have to? Everybody: YES! Caz: Fine! *zaps Jenna, turning her normal once more* Jenna: ... forget it... you'll pay later >_>; [Exeunt] [Act 1, Scene 4] Caz: Nighttime, where they were at the beginning of the play... [Enter Isaac, Garet, Mia] Isaac: The Air bites shrewdly, is it very cold? Mia: Shouldn't you be able to tell? Garet: Noooo! It's boiling hot! Isaac: ... Garet: It is a nipping and an eager air. Mia: Sounds more like a playful puppy to me. Isaac: I think it lack of twelve. Mia: No it is struck. Garet: Indeed, I heard it not. Then it draws near the wherein the Spirit held his wont to walk, what does this mean My Lord? Isaac: It means it's nearly time for the Spirit to appear... oh sorry, I thought you wanted a translation... the King doth wake tonight. Garet: Is it a custom? Isaac: Yeah, I think so. [Enter Kyle the Ghost] Isaac: Hi, Dad! Mia: Isaac! -_-; Garet: Look, my lord, it comes. Isaac: HE, Garet, HE! Are you trying to say you don't know my dad's gender?! Garet: Ok, fine! Fine! HE comes! Sheesh... Isaac: *looks at lines and whimpers* Mia: Isaac? Isaac: *takes deep breath* Angels of Minister of Grace defend us, Be a spirit of breath or goblin damned- Mia: You swore. Isaac: Bring with thee airs from Heaven, or blasts from Hell, Be thy events wicked or charitable... Garet: Isaac, why don't you just ask him what he wants? Isaac: Good idea! What do you want, Dad? Kyle: *beckons* Garet: It beckons you to go with it- Mia: He, him. Garet: As if it some impartment did desire- Mia: He. Garet: To you alone. Mia: Looke with what courteous action, it wafts you to a more removed ground- Isaac: How can it waft me? I'm not feeling any wind... Mia: But do not go with it. Garet: No, by no means. Isaac: But he's my dad! Garet: Do not, my lord! Isaac: DAD! Garet: But what if he tempts you off the cliff? Isaac: ...Dad... Mia: You shall not go! Isaac: Hold off your hand! Garet: *looks demonic* Be ruled, you shall not go! Isaac: Yes, I shall! Garet: No you won't! Isaac: Yes, I will! Garet: No! Isaac: Yes! Garet: No! Isaac: Yes! Mia: *groans* Garet: No! Isaac: Yes! Garet: No! Isaac: No! Garet: Yes! Mia: O_o; Well done! Isaac: Fine! Have it your way, I will go! Garet: Oh, damn! Isaac: See ya later! *runs off after Kyle* Garet/Mia: ... Mia: I know, let's follow him. [Exeunt] [Act 1, Scene 5] Isaac: Where will thou lead me? Speak, I'll go no further. Kyle: Mark me. Isaac: No, I couldn't do that! Kyle: ... Isaac: You're a ghost... how can I mark a ghost? Kyle: Oh. Isaac: So, um... what's up? Kyle: Listen to a story, young Isaac, of a king sleeping in an orchard. Isaac: ... Kyle: His name was Kyle, King of Vale, and he was taking his afternoon snack! Isaac: Snack? Kyle: Sorry, nap... and they said a snake came along and bit him... but this is the true story... He did sleep, and soundly too, When a ship driving pirate came, Briggs of Champa, The king's 'brother' Who did pour poison into his ear, Alas, the King could not stand the poison, And he passed away. And Briggs did become King anew, And took the Queen Dora to be his bride. Isaac: ... Kyle: That is the true story. Isaac: Oh heaven! Kyle: Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder! Isaac: Re-revenge? Kyle: Did you not love your father so? Isaac: Yeah... Kyle: Isaac, avenge his death! Isaac: I will! Kyle: Oh, and one thing, be nice to your mother! Isaac: I will! Kyle: And be a good boy! Isaac: I will! Kyle: Remember me, Isaac! Isaac: I will! Kyle: And stop saying 'I will!' Isaac: I will- Uh, I mean, Okay! [Exit Kyle, the Ghost] Isaac: So Briggs murdered him... [Enter Mia and Garet] Mia: Lord Isaac! Garet: Heaven secure him. Mia: So be it. Garet: Illo ho ho, my lord! ... XD Mia: o_O Garet: Illo ho ho ho! Merry Chris- *smacked* Ow! Mia: Garet, it is not Christmas. Although goodness knows you're wide enough to be Santa Claus! Garet: Who's Santa Claus? Mia: ... Isaac: Illo, ho, ho, boy, come! Mia: How is it, my Noble Lord? Garet: What news my Lord? Isaac: Oh, wonderful! Garet: Good, my Lord, tell it! Isaac: Just don't tell anybody! Garet: Not I, my Lord, by heaven. Mia: Nor I, my Lord. Isaac: Good. *leans forwards, whispering* Jenna wears a thong! Mia: *slaps Isaac* Isaac: OW! Garet: Old news. Mia: *dangerously* Isaac... Isaac: O_O;;; Er, I mean... There's never a villain dwelling in Vale, but he's an arrant knave. Garet: There needs no Ghost my Lord, come from the Grave, to tell us this. Isaac: But... there is one... Mia: *gasps* Garet: Whom is this? Isaac: *whispering* They call him... BRIGGS... Mia/Garet: OoO OOH! Isaac: He is a scary PIRATE... he hails from CHAMPA... Mia/Garet: WOW!!! Isaac: Mia and Garet are very SARCASTIC! *slapped twice* Ow! Mia: ... Garet: ... >=| Isaac: Briggs did a wicked DEED! Mia: Please stop capitalising words ^_^ Isaac: Nay, my lady, I capitalise for effect. Thine words have mercy upon your soul, hearken, friends, for Briggs is a villain who did a most wicked deed! Garet: So you said already. Isaac: Swear, friends, never to tell! Ghost/Kyle: Swear! Mia: I swear! Garet: (Censored) *slapped* What was that for? Mia: He means to promise, you thickhead! Garet: Oh... I swear! Isaac: Very well, I shall tell. Briggs, the wicked Pirate of Champa, he murdered... the King, Kyle, my father! Garet: *gasps* Mia: *shrieks* Isaac: Do not tell! Mia/Garet: We won't, My Lord! ^o^ Isaac: And to prevent Briggs from knowing that I know, I must act insane. Okay? Mia: You mean you weren't? ¬_¬ Garet: Cool beans! ^_^ Isaac: Now friends, let us depart! And remember, CHEESE! [Exeunt] [End of Act 1!] Caz: End! ~*~ [End] ~*~ Caz: ISAAC! Isaac: *gulps* Yes, ma'am? Caz: What is it with cheese? Isaac: Just... I like it to be my last word! Jenna: You... cheese-obsessed... Isaac: I'm not cheese-obsessed, that's Garet! Garet I am not! Isaac: Yes you are! Mia: DON'T start that again! Felix: I wonder if I should take life insurance... Isaac: Actually, I probably need it more... *cringes* Caz: Ibuprofen... Tylenol... Ibuprofen... Ivan: Aspirin? [Shocked silence] Ivan: What did I say?