MST of "Golden Sun: The Insanity"

Kyarorain: I'm back! And it's time for another MSTing. Hooray! Now it's time to pick my victims.

Isaac!

Isaac: Sol have mercy upon me. =/

Alex!

Alex: I swear, when I take over the world, I'm banning MSTs.

Mia!

Mia: Aww, jeez. I have to do this MSTing thing with Alex again?

Piers!

Piers: I'm too old for this...

Felix!

Felix: [sarcastically] Yay. I'm so glad.

Kyarorain: Welcome to what's probably going to be the strangest MST yet. Oh, did I mention that it's rated M?

Isaac: M?!

Felix: I think we all know by now the site isn't even safe for children.

Kyarorain: Oh, it's not that bad. It's just for violence and character death. ^_^

Mia: Violence and character death. I'm looking forwards to this already. Not.

Kyarorain: And did I mention it guest stars Gollum in the role of Alex?

Alex: The hell?

Piers: I want to leave...

Kyarorain: And the fic is "Golden Sun: The Insanity" by Mikaa. Have fun MSTing, people! [disappears]

Isaac: I'm feeling very nervous now.

Mia: Me too... but we can get through this. I hope.

[Everybody sits down before the screen, anxiously awaiting their doom... wait, scratch that.]

5...

Alex: Isn't Gollum that creepy thing in Lord of the Rings? How could he be me?

4...

Piers: I think Kyarorain was joking. Maybe.

3...

Mia: Gollum!Alex might be amusing to see...

2...

Isaac: But the fic doesn't sound amusing in the least.

1...

Felix: And here we go...

0

Golden Sun: The Insanity

By Mikaa

Chapter 1 - Attack of the Insane One

A/N - THIS IS THE ONLY TIME YOU WILL RECIEVE THIS WARNING, SO HEED IT WELL: I, MIKAA, DO NOT OWN GOLDEN SUN, NINTENDO, OR CAMELOT; THIS FIC CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE, ADULT SITUATIONS, REFERENCES TO DRUGS,

Isaac: I knew there was something suspicious about Crystal Powder.

Felix: And the way those Herbs look just isn't right.

AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE. IF ANY OF THIS OFFENDS, THEN HEED THE RATING THAT THIS FIC RECIEVED; IT GOT IT FOR A REASON...

Slowly, silently, he strode forward, almost crawling on the grounds.

Mia: Almost crawling? How can you be almost crawling and striding forward at the same time?

Piers: Maybe he's half tarantula.

How fitting, sneaking around at this hour, through this village, like a peasant thief. If he had his way, he would not have to sulk so, no, oh no.

Mia: Oh noez!

 He would simply command the world to come to him, to HIM.

Felix: Yes, I heard you the first time, thank you!

How dare he be robbed of his right?

But no, no no no no no no no no...

Alex: [sings] You don't love me and I know now, no no no~

Isaac: Did his keyboard get stuck on the last two letters it typed or something?

 The damndable bastard had stolen a part of his power, a part needed to allow full control over the Elements. And what did he have to show for his lack of this power? The urge to find the shit

Piers: Have you looked in the toilet?

Mia: ... Ew.

Piers: That was the first thing I thought of...

and take it.

Felix: Great, now I have an image of Alex holding...

Alex: Don't. Say. It.

Yes, take what was rightfully his to begin with; and to take back that wench that dared betray him, trying to stop him. As if she knew what power really was, what the point of life was.

Eh, what did it matter, anyway? Soon, he would be whole, and these insects would be smitten with love for their master, their dominator, their destroyer.

Yes, these arrogant, irritating little creatures would serve as a great source of amusement as they died. The look in their eyes as he slit their skin open, flaying their skin, only to rebuild it and do it over and over. Yes, the look of fear, pain, that pleading for mercy.

Piers: If we plead for mercy, can we get out of here?

Isaac: Doubt it.

Like they deserved mercy.

Come to think of it, why did he not just as simply blast them all to oblivion, anyway? Would it not be easier than...

Well, it did not matter; here he was:

Time to kill.

He poised himself, having prepared a nice little pleasing speach

Felix: I think someone's hungry...

Mia: Now I want to eat peaches...

Alex: Is a speach a speech delivered with a mouthful of peach?

 to fake them out. Taking a deep breath, he summoned all of his control-

-and as the breath left his lungs, not even before it left his lips, he fired, a hot white burst of pure psynergy that vaporised the door, blasting inside and cooking and melting anything unfortunate that caught itself in the path of the blast.

Alex: Last time I checked, my Psynergy didn't cook things.

Not that he cared. The ones he wanted were upstairs. Entering the house, he resumed his crouching stance,

Mia: So, I suppose he is Gollum then.

staring at the ceiling, planning his attack.

Felix: That's it. Show the ceiling who's boss. Blasted ceilings, always up to no good...

"Screw the plan," he mumbled. "These idiots, these pissant little fools! I WILL KILL THEM! GAHHAHAHAHA HA HAH AHA HA HAHA HAHA HHAA

Mia: Moe the Clown? Is that you?

 FOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSS!"

He knew that they heard him, and he really did not give a damn; they could do whatever they thought was needed to defend themselves against his intrusion, but their plans were moot: he already knew what they would do; Isaac would charge down, the damned, brave fool that he was, leaving Mia upstairs to guard their child.

Felix: That was a damn long sentence.

Their child. What should have been HIS child, not the child of some pathetic peon. Anger surging, he lept. His old slef would never have survived such an impact through a ceiling as he did, but his old self was long since gone.

Alex: Spell check is your friend. It won't bite, I promise.

 Recovering faster than he had any right to under normal circumstances, he spied Mia, her long, flowing river of hair settling after his attack. He could see it in her eyes, the terror, the fear, the shock, the dread.

Mia: I feel like someone's beating me over the head with a thesaurus.

 He knew she was worried about the child, and right she should be! That bastard child, or rather, soon-to-be-bastard child,

Piers: Uh, how so? Are Isaac and Mia getting a divorce?

Felix: But Wikipedia suggests the child has to be born to unmarried parents in the first place.

Isaac: Okay, there's nitpicking and then there's thinking way too hard.

 would not survive this night. And, for that matter, neither would the Mia before him.

Then again, that was all a part of his plan...

Smiling such as to reveal his teeth,

Mia: My, Alex, what big teeth you have!

he lunged at her, turning to hit the base of her neck before she could even scream from his leap through the ceiling. Catching her over his right arm, he turned to the child in the crib. Without any hesitation, he flexed his wrist, summoning his psynery. Even as he heard Isaac's feet turning to climb back up the stairs, he could only revel in having stalled the child's heart, ending its would-be misery before it began. In all honesty, it was a mercy killing.

Everyone: ...

Mercy. Like it deserved such treatment. With a blind rage, he threw the body of the child with his mind, slamming it with sufficient force to throw the now-arriving Isaac down the stairs.

Alex: I think this is probably one of the worst portrayals of myself in fanfiction to date. And that's really saying something.

Knowing that he had hurt Isaac in more ways than one, he turned to leave, but stopped. Mia, unconcious. Isaac and Mia's son, dead. And Isaac stunned from the blast. Opportunity.

Felix: This switch between run on sentences and short staccato sentences is getting on my nerves.

Yes, how likely would it be that he would have the chance to take them both? Grinning, he strode to the stair well, his mind already dreaming up ideas of how to repay Isaac for taking his power and woman.

It would be fun. Oh yes, and it will be, he mused.

Piers: No, it won't.

For those of you still on speaking/reading/reviewing terms with me, feel free to voice your thoughts. Just a little dark, and a sign that I am going insane...

MIKAA, LORD OF THE INSANITY (Oh, yes, the INSANITY! HAHAHAHAHA HAH HAH HA HAH AHAH AHH HA!)

Isaac: You know, maybe we're not meant to take this fic seriously.

Mia: What, it's supposed to be some sort of warped and twisted humour fic?

Piers: Well, it does seem to have the potential for some laughs.

Felix: How many chapters does this thing have?

Alex: Does anybody have some painkillers?

By Mikaa

Chapter 2 - Welcome the Insane One

A/N - Yes, the last chapter was dark, dirty, and a bit out there. Ok, it was flat out insane, yes? But then, what did you expect given the title? Hope you liked the last one, it only gets worse from here on out.

Everyone: Nooooooooo!

Enjoy (or not). Just have fun, and don't kill me. Seriously. I have enough problems. Like having to write for the Insane One. Who is like me. Only insane. But I'm insane. So he is like me.

Uh, moving on. Enjoy.

"Uughlf," moaned Isaac, his head spinning as his eyes tried to focus. Odd how that hitting his head could cause his vision to blur in a rainbow mix of colors. An array of colors that Isaac had not seen since he tried that "spice cake" at Xiam.

Abruptly, the thought of Xiam snapped him from disoreintation, and brought him to the present.

A present that he wished he had not seen.

Isaac: I can't believe you thought purple and orange striped socks would make a good present!

Stripped of his clothes, Isaac was laying against a stone slab in what looked like a cave, his arms tied out away from his body and his legs tied together.

Piers: Isaac has now found himself within the fantasy of a deranged yaoi fangirl.

Mia: And the yaoi fangirl likes Alex/Isaac.

Alex: I am going to ban yaoi as well.

His efforts to pull free, either on his own or with his psynergy, fell to futility. Remembering what had happened before he was knocked out of it, Isaac began to look for Mia, only to find that he was alone in the cave. Upon further inspection, the "cave" was apparently a small alcove dug out of a larger section, almost as if someone had dug this room for the very purpose of keeping someone against the wall. The rectangular slab he was tied against confirmed that much.

But why was his psynergy not working?

"Why indeed, my precious foe; why indeed?"

Felix: Oh look, he used the word precious.

Mia: Isaac is Alex's precious?

Alex: Hell no.

Dread filled Isaac's mind, horror of what Alex would do to him, Mia, and his son.

My son. More dread filled Isaac, and the realization of what had slammed him down the stairs in the first place covered his face in horror, realizing that Alex had probably already killed his son. Fighting tears, he tried again to break free, hoping to find Mia alive and well.

Isaac: You know, if I was tied to a wall without any clothes on, I think I would also be wondering why I was naked and feeling pretty darn chilly as well.

"Mia is alive, alive she is, my blonde prey. Though the same may not be said of you. No, you hold something, something that drives me mad, mad. Maybe I should just kill you and take it. But maybe it is living within you and killing you would kill it, nonono,

Alex: [singing] No no no, you don't love me and I know now, no no no~

Mia: Are you going to do that every time?

Alex: Maybe.

killing is not right. Maybe if-"

"Show yourself Alex," Isaac demanded, hoping the fear he had did not show in his voice.

"Why, you cannot see me? Have you tried looking up, above?"

Swallowing, Isaac did look up, and nearly lost his senses when he saw what clung to the walls above. How the creature above him clung to the wall and did not fall, Isaac would never know;

Felix: Now Shelob is in the fic?

His eyes were dark and red, almost like an animal. His hair was short and frazzled, matching his ratted and pathetic clothing. But however odd he looked, the creature simply looked crazed, disturbed.

Not exactly what one would want to see in a dim room while chained to a wall without clothes.

Isaac barely was able to find his voice as Alex dropped before him, crouching like a wild animal eyeing a prey.

Mia: (as Alex) Damn. It's even bigger than mine is.

Isaac: o_0

Alex: Not going to say anything...

"W-w-what do you want?" Mentally, he kicked himself, knowing that to be a mildy pointless question; apparently, Alex was far too far gone for coherent thought.

A sharp pain sliced through Isaac's chest as Alex dug razor sharp claws into his skin,

Felix: Where did Alex get razor sharp claws from?

Piers: Apparently he's now Wolverine.

Isaac finding himself unable to breathe. After what seemed like hours on hours of pain, Alex released him, and all Isaac could do was wheeze, trying to breathe. So maybe Alex was not as dumb as-

Oh second thought, maybe that thought should not be completed.

"Very good, my friend. It took only the loss of breath to convince you to shut up and obey your superior. Don't even try to think otherwise, my muscular foe.

Mia: Does anyone wish Alex would just call him by his name already?

Isaac: He called me friend and then he called me foe? I can't be both...

 For all your strenght and intelligence, you cannot grasp the concept that I have you right where I want you, right where you will submit to me." A wide grin fell on Alex's already insane features, and the sight of his teeth only made him look more sinister.

Piers: (as Alex) Heeeeeere's Johnny!

"What do you want?"

"Oh, please, you pathetic drone.

Felix: I think Alex must have a book titled 'Nicknames for Isaac' and he's trying to use every single one of then.

Mia is no longer your conscern, so get it out of your head. Don't look at me that way!" Alex punched Isaac in the gut, followed by backhanding the Venusian's face. "You don't seem to realize yet that I hear every thought you make, feel every little, teensy, tiny," Alex put his face mere breaths from Isaac's, "wittle, bittle, thing you feel."

Isaac: Someone needs to confiscate his thesaurus already.

Alex smiled, bearing his teeth again. Before Isaac could even think, Alex sank his teeth into his neck, leaving Isaac wailing in pain.

Alex released his grin, licking the blood from his lips. "Mmm, tasty. Now I know why that bitch wanted to make brats with you, you weak fool;

Felix: Now Alex wants to make babies with Isaac?

Isaac: [sigh] I take it Sunshipping has become the running joke of this MST.

Alex: [facepalm] Oh joy.

you are as weak as her." Alex licked his lips again, his smile, one again, beat out his prior one, this time with blood dribbling down his face. "In time, I will know how to extract what I need from you.

Mia: [snickering]

Piers: Do we want to know what's so funny?

Mia: [grins] Nope.

[Everyone gives Mia a disturbed look and they all slowly edge away from her]

And in time, you will acknowlege me as your superior and master. And maybe, just maybe," Alex turned to walk out, turning over his shoulder to stare at Isaac, winking, "maybe I might think of releasing you. Have fun." He moved to walk on, mumbling as he left:

"And no food for you until you submit. No, no food, no need to waste any precous goods on him.

Felix: Hey look, the word precious again. Except it's spelled wrong.

Piers: Gosh, I wonder what Alex's favourite word is... I have no idea. Not at all.

 If he submits, maybe, but no need to waste. Mabye I will find food later. No, food not important..."

Isaac never heard the rest, becoming too dizzy from the loss of blood.

And the loss of Mia.

OOOOOOOOKaay, now. More sadistic and dark than I originally planned. Hey, don't give me that look! At least I didn't suggest anything sexual between the two! Sheez!

Oh, that reminds me, expect some light shonen-ai (I THINK that's how you spell that) between Alex and a non-Isaac character coming up. Oh, and if you wonder about Mia, I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

And with that, I must flee before people decide that I am too demented and crazed to be left alive.

Mikaa, Lord of Ch'Kal'a (in Animal Crossing: Wide World, that is)

By Mikaa

Chapter 3 - Love is But a Plaything to the Insane One

A/N - Wow, I actually get reviews? The apocalypse is coming, no? Sarcasm aside, I do appreciate the reviews, and hope you enjoy this despite the hints of shonen-ai (sp?) in this chapter. Yes, this is my debut in writing shonen-ai, and might acutally make people think I really am crazy when they read it.

But then, what did you expect from a fic titled "The Insanity?" An insane fic with random acts of stupidity? This is the MIKAA! We need angst, horror, torture, romance, death, blood and gu-

Uh, to the fic.

Because I now have a mob rushing me. Eep.

WARNING - READ CHAPTER 1'S DISCLAIMER BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER. ALSO NOTE THAT THIS CHAPTER (AND POTENTIAL FUTURE CHAPTERS) (MAY) CONTAIN SHONEN-AI (MALE/MALE LOVING) CONTENT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

"Ah, prey. Innocent, unaware, naive about its pending doom,

Mia: Put. That. Thesaurus. DOWN.

willing to be led to its demise, and blissfully unaware that it is being moved to the position to please its controller. Ah, peons. Such little, useless, irritating things. See how it goes?

Piers: He sure is fond of talking.

Felix: Just like always...

Alex: Are you suggesting that I talk too much?

Felix: A place named Champa ring any bells?

Alex: Uh... well...

Walking along, his long hair flowing behind his cloak. He still wears his hair such like all those years ago, when we first met. And after all these years, the bastard still doesn't realize how like a girl he looks.

Mia: Hypocrite.

Alex: I don't look like a girl!

Felix: Neither do I!

Isaac: It's got to be the long hair, yup.

Piers: Then... does that mean people think I look girly too? T_T

Maybe he's not Jenna's brother, but her sister? Meh. Stupid bitches, both of them."

Muttering to himself, Alex could not help but smile sadistically as he watched Felix from above. Never once did the piece of dirt

Felix: He has nicknames for everyone, doesn't he?

Mia: Has he even used the same nickname twice? I swear he keeps coming up with new omes.

ever show signs of loyalty. Oh, sure, he was willing to accept and show affection, but damned if he would help Alex.

Of course, that Alex had long since died. Smiling, the new Alex watched the brown-haired man, watching his efforts to search the forests for signs of the two thornes in Alex's den. Ironic that Felix would actually commit a search without that blonde "psychotrauma" at his side; ever since he rescued that wench, he would never have left her side unless he had no choice.

Isaac: Does that mean Felix and Sheba go to the bathroom together?

"Leave me for some jail-bait ass, will you?"

Piers: Is this supposed to be the shonen-ai we were warned about? I can barely see it if I squint.

Mia: I'm sure yaoi fangirls would be severely disappointed...

Making all the noise of a leaf in the wind, Alex flipped off of the branch from where he was sitting, landing with the soft crunch of grass-

-only to have Felix whorl around, his blade out of its sheath and angled right at the tip of Alex's throat.

For a time, neither moved; Alex for the simple fact that he was enjoying the mixture of emotions in his former friend's face, Felix because...

Alex smiled. His reluctance to flat out slay the man that had manipulated the events to obtain ultimate power was sheer glee to Alex.

Felix: I would not be reluctant to kill him. Especially if he was acting like Gollum and killing babies.

Alex: I feel so loved. T_T

Visible beads of sweat formed on the Venusian's face, his eyes a mix of confusion and fear. Not to mention that hint of passion.

Or maybe Alex was simply looking for what the dead Alex would have wanted to see. Either way, it was time to end this game of staring.

"Hello to you to, Felix." Alex spoke softly, smiling pleasently, a breeze of cool pleasure running through his back at the sight of Felix's muscles easing at his tone. "Nice sword. A little big, though. Trying to compensate for something?"

Mia: Not fair! You stole my joke!

Alex: Welcome to the "My Manhood just got insulted Club", Felix.

Felix: Screw you.

Felix's lack of response (not to mention the beet-red blushing in his face) allowed Alex all the time he needed to attack. With speed that noone would think possible, he belted Felix in the gut, sending him doubling over, his sword falling to the ground. Kicking Felix on to his back, he gently urged the sword to rise, twirling it in the air as Felix watched, a hint of horror behind his eyes.

Isaac: Oh no, he's been disarmed. If only he had this thing called Psynergy. Oh, wait.

Delicious. If it was not for the fact that Felix might tell the others about his presence, this might have been arousing. Oh well, no sense crying over lost bounty.

Gently urging the sword, Felix could only watch as Alex motioned the blade to line up with Felix's neck, the tip of the blade barely touching the tender flesh of his neck. Alex briefly considered slicing his former lover's neck, but decided against it; such wounds, especially amongst Adepts, were easy to overcome. No, to take his head off; that would work fine.

Raising the blade, Alex barely had time to react when the currents of electricity lanced through his being. Before the collapse of the mountain, such bolts would have fried him alive. Not so any more, though they certainly caught him off guard. Hurling the blade into a nearby hulk of rock, Alex turned to face the blonde bitch that dared attack him. Smiling with perverse glee, he reviled in the sheer shock painted on her face, the disbelief that someone could survive such an attack.

Mia: Saturos, Menardi, Agatio and Karst were all quite capable of surviving being hit by Jupiter Psynergy.

Felix: Not to mention all those other humans we've fought.

Isaac: Yeah, non-Adepts included. I don't see what's so shocking about Alex surviving.

It was even more enjoyable to see her face twist and turn as he launched his own array of electricity, cooking her skin and flesh, and quite soon her mind and heart. It would be a waste of raw materials to remake into a better creature, but then, there were others to choose from.

His dissapointment at the nearing doom for Sheba was cut short - quite literally. Felix had recovered from his stunned state and had pulled a hidden knife from his shoe, stabbing Alex in the back. Releasing Sheba, he slowly turned to face the Venusian, reveling in the sheer terror in his eyes.

Piers: Terror? Really? When did Felix become such a pussy?

Felix: [glares] Did you just make a cat joke?

Piers: That was completely accidental, I swear.

"Really, Felix. Stabbing a man in the back? How cliche. Couldn't you have tried the head, or neck, or something original?" Felix's face was all the more fun to watch as the knife followed Alex's call to his hand.

His body a blur, Alex knocked Felix back to the ground, this time on his belly. Pinning him like a predator subduing his prey, Alex took the knife, gently rubbing Felix's cheek. "That bitch must have meant something to you, if you would stab me so.

Mia: Right, he couldn't just have been stabbing you because you were out to kill everyone, kidnapped two people and slaughtered an innocent infant...

I guess I will let her live for now, and perhaps spare you the thrill of watching her die before your eyes. But know this: you even think of trying to attack me again, and I will create a robe out of your skin."

Raising his arm, Alex yelled as he swung the knife, forcing a noise from Felix. Not a yell, or a hollar; no, a scream, like a young child watching his doom consume him.

Felix: My ponytail! ;_;

It was a whole second day before Sheba would tell what she saw in the woods; Felix never told anyone what he saw.

Yes, I think I choose wisely in .having the genre catagory include both Angst and Horror, no?

Mia: Huh, it's angst?

Isaac: That's odd. I don't recall seeing anyone actually angsting.

Piers: Clearly, angst these days is just used as a term to describe something that doesn't have cute, fluffy bunnies, meadows of flowers and warm and fuzzy feelings in it.

Please review, assuming you are willing to speak to me.

Mikaa, Lord of the Insanity

By Mikaa

Chapter 4 - Wrath of the Insane One

A/N - Yea, and the Mikaa doth said, "Let us overuse the title gimmick yet again in the fourth chapter," and yea, it was done. Sarcasm aside, I was suprised how well the last chapter seemed to go over (Ky's comments about Felix's precious pony-tail aside). And now, we have the most twisted chapter yet. OK, so all of these have been twisted, and knowing my past history, Alex will probably be welcomed back with open arms.

Oh, pleeze. I sincerely hope no one assumes that will happen. Because it will. In a way. Or not. Why would I want to welcome him back after what he did?

Then again, I am the Mikaa. And we all know the Mikaa loves to do the unexpected or unpopular. Which naturally puts me in a bind.

Especially after you read this chapter, since I take the Insane One's actions one step further, and one step closer to a grand finale.

Oh, and this chapter contains the usual crap that I stated in the last three chapters, I own not Nintendo or Camelot or the rights to Golden Sun, Read At Your Own Risk, blah blah blah, and yakakadady.

And now, to Wrath of the Insane one, complete with Mia in leather and whipping Isaac.

Or something. O.O

To the chapter. Before I am killed.

Then again, there was always a first time to be wrong about such things.

"So, you are awake."

Mia. His pains and thoughts evaporated at the sound of her voice. Looking up, he was awed at the sheer beauty before him. Shrouded in the same robes that she wore in Imil and wrapped in an almost angelic aura, it was as though he had died.

Wait. It was a trick. It had to be a trick. This was another instance of Alex tormenting him.

But that smile, that innocence, it was as if she had never seen the near end of the world.

And then it hit him, why Alex said that he did not have to worry about Mia, why she seemed so nice: Alex. So obvious. Pain surged through his entire being, but it was not from hunger or physical attacks.

Mia, the woman he knew, who he loved, who he wed, who he sired a son with, was gone.

Mia: I wish I was gone... from this place.

Isaac: Don't we all?

If he had not cooked alive from that bitch's attack, then why should he heal and remove the smell? It reminded him (and potentially others) of his immunity to such attacks. Why heal that strike that Felix inflicted on him? If it did not kill him, it only helped to remind that worthless whore what would happen to him if he betrayed Alex again.

Felix: Whores are usually women. Last time I checked, I was lacking a vagina...

Isaac: Manwhore, then?

And best of all, only now did that Sheba tell them of what happened in the woods, probably just barely able to come to conciousness from his attack. Her fortune that her lover would attack a superior being and spare her an early, easy death. Too bad her survival would not be in her favor; by tomorrow, she would only be a memory in Alex's mind.

But first, he had to secure the ones who would live; there would be those who resisted his power, who would resist change. Too bad, that they would be wasted so easily, so effortlessly.

Alex smiled as he heard footsteps behind him, rising slowly to turn and face Picard. Apparently, the Lemurian had no idea of Sheba's revelation below, and was in shock at seeing the man who had "betrayed" them so easily.

Before the ancient being could talk,

Piers: Ancient? ANCIENT? *starts crying on Felix's shoulder*

Felix: o-0 *pats Piers's shoulder* There there...

Mia: I take it he's a little sensitive about his age.

Piers: H-he called me ancient! I'm not that old! ;_;

Alex was already in motion. From his hand spewed a fume of fire and sulfuric rocks, consuming Picard in a sea of anguish and torment. Alex shivered in pleasure as Picard tried to scream, tried to summon his energies to douse the fires cooking him alive; but his mind was already fried to ash, his screams merely air being forced out of his lungs before incinerating in the fire cooking his body.

Isaac: That was... random.

Alex: Yeah.

Piers: So, wait, I suddenly come out of nowhere and am suddenly killed? What is this, a teen slasher movie?

Mere moments later, what had once been the great Lemurian was nothing more than a pile of ash. Centuries of life, gone in a second.

Piers: Centuries?! Do people really think I'm that old?

Mia: You could just tell us how old you are.

Piers: Uh, I'd rather not...

Just like the ways of the lifeforms below the ridge. Soon, my pets, soon you will know no pain.

Except that of my suffering.

Laughing so hard that even those dead could hear him, Alex laughed, arms stretched out, welcoming the alerted visitors. It was begun.

Yep. Picard/Piers is dead. What, you expected everything to be fine and dandy at the end? No Phoenix Down will save Aeris, er, Picard, folks. Welcome to the Insanity.

Speaking of which, enjoy the surviving characters as long as you can; Picard was just the beginning. More blood will be shed, and only a few will live. Oh, and Isaac and Mia? There will be significance to that, do not worry. Maybe I will be predictable. Maybe I will have Isaac kill himself to end his suffering. Or maybe I will drag this out by writing a behind-the-scenes bit next chapter?

Aw, screw it: I'll do that right now!

Why not?

Here you go, for the two of you who care about the original version of this fic:

Originally, Isaac, NOT Alex, was the insane one, though it began more subtly than Alex's decent into the dark realms of the mind. In the original format, Alex was dying when Isaac found him, and when Isaac allowed Alex to grant him his memories (after a typical Alex-was-trying-to-undo-past-wrongs bit), Isaac recieved the power that Alex had recieved, and went insane from the sheer power infusion. And for those that care, Picard was a guaranteed dead man in that version as well, though through differient means:

See, Mia was noting her husband was showing signs of changes in his attitudes, and was consulting Picard about it. Isaac was nearing, and Picard hid behind some tapestries (because, you know, all good villains have those in their homes). Isaac and Mia began to argue, and Isaac attacked Mia with a blast of electricity (oh, did I mention she was pregnant when he did that?), only to stop when Picard charged him. Picard was slayed at Isaac's hands in a manner virtually identical to the way he died above, and Isaac, being the nice chap he is, simply walks off, leaving a fried body (not ashes, as above) and a scorched Mia (with a living baby, go Mia (she was sheilding the baby, though that would be later)) behind.

And that...was as far as I got. Eventually, I revisited the idea, and what you are reading now is the end result. Personally, I would have loved to see the responses an Insane Isaac/Evil Isaac would recieve with the review crowds, but then I conceeded that having Alex go nuts was more typical and allowed for more suprises than the shock value of an Evil Isaac. Go figure.

Anywho, please review, and feel free to e-mail me comments on the original version (or in the reviews, even).

Thanks again, and look for the grand finale soon, as Alex begins his attack on Vale, and Isaac and Mia square off (in typical memory-wipped fashion, shaken, not stired, but with a twist).

Mikaa, Lord of the Insanity, Master of Picard's Doom, Soon to be Killed by Reviewers

By Mikaa

Chapter 5 - All Good Things Must Welcome the Insane One

A/N - Ew, me thinks I pissed off a few readers last chapter. And why would I not have? After all, who likes to see characters die off, after they play through a whole story and grow attached to them? Who here was mad when Aeris died in FF7 or the infamous death in Phantasy Star II (whose heroine I cannot remember)?

That being said, I must point out that if you do not like character death, do NOT read this chapter; though it contains the ending, it WILL have more deaths, and don't expect me to tell you now who lives and dies.

And yes, this is the grand finale; the last chapter. Sure, I could drag this out a wee bit into a few more chapters, but doing so would loose the quality that I seek to present. And now that I sound like George Lucas talking about his Star Wars remakes (and keeping in the vomit for even comparing my statement to THAT), I now go to the grand finale of the Insanity.

And maybe we will yet see Mia in leather whipping Isaac. Who know?

OK, you KNOW I had to bring that back. Ha ha heh... Eeh, I must go before the little mites of doom feast on me for that bad joke...

And now, the finale.

Because I won't shut up.

Ya know, before we go on...

OKOKOKOKOK! DON'T HURT ME!

Geeze, you think that people could take a pun... Not very punny, eh?

Oh well. Enjoy.

Mia: Wow. Alex is running around slaughtering people. How scary.

Isaac: I can't even begin to take him seriously. It's like he's doing it for a hobby or something.

Alex: Well, you know, stamp collecting is so boring. Killing people is obviously so much more fun.

With all his might, he laughed. So pathetic, not even the great heroes dared to challengee him?

Piers: They all got turned into whimpering scaredy cats. Honestly, the way everyone's keeping away from him, you'd think he was stronger than a dragon.

Felix: We're supposed to believe he's stronger than the Fusion Dragon and Doom Dragon? That's just ridiculous.

Isaac: Alex's being overpowered in this fic and we're basically doing nothing. Joy.

From the corner of his eye, he saw a man approach. Instinct told him to kill the person, but reflex at that face told him to wait. Felix approached, murder in his eyes. Apparently, he had decided that a suicidal attack was worth the effort to protect these peons.

How wrong he was. How wrong, he was...

Isaac: Maybe it's the constant repetition of the word 'maybe'.

Whatever it was, it would not be long before darkness claimed him.

How did this happen? Why did this happen? Why did the Elements seek to torment him so, to torment Mia, to torment even Alex? What had caused him to become so demented, so twisted? Was there a way to help him? Assuming, of course, that one could contain him long enough to try.

But then, there was one person who Alex would listen to. Or might have listened to. Truth be told, Isaac doubted that Mia could be helpful any more, given that Felix had managed to twist her into something more frail, naive, and innocent than she ever was.

Piers: I'm pretty sure you mean Alex there...

"Is something wrong?"

Isaac jerked his head up, staring at her. How she had slipped past his notice, he did not know, nor did he really care. Darkly, he chuckled, shaking his head. "No, nothing's wrong. I'm only dying here."

Felix: Man, poor Isaac. If only Mia had the ability to fire giant shards of ice from her hands that could shatter whatever was holding him there and free him. Such a terrible pity really.

Isaac: Even having her memory erased shouldn't affect her ability to use it, surely?

"Why are you dying?"

Isaac stared at her, wondering if it was a joke; apparently not. "Alex left me here for dead."

"No," she spoke, what seemed like fear entering her eyes. "Alex would not kill anyone. He would not hurt a fly."

Was she serious?

Isaac: Nice to see that Garet and Jenna aren't simpering wimps.

All of them might as well have been dead, given the lovely scene before him. Everywhere were shattered buildings, shredded bodies, melted blades, burning plants, death lingering.

Ivan was about to charge at Alex himself when he heard something behind him. Just as he faced Felix, he felt the blade enter his chest, piercing his heart, crushing his spine. With his last ounce of life, Ivan stared at Felix's blank face, wondering what had drained the life out of him to give him an aura of one without a soul of his own...

Piers: Poor kid, he only just got to appear in the fic and he's already dead.

Isaac: If I was bleeding to death, I think I would... you know, ask Mia to heal me?

"It could not have been Alex." Mia protested. "He would not do such a thing, even if you asked for it!"

"How do you know!" Isaac could not believe this, he was arguing with his last hours with the woman that was once his wife, who once bore him a son, who once lived at his side. Was there anything left of the woman that he...

Ignoring her latest dodge of his question, Isaac realized what option he had. Sure, it was sick, and just might make her run off, but what choice did he have?

Noting that he would have to thank Sheba later after they won (IF they did), Garet flung himself to the ground, reaching out to send a wave of hot, acidic air right at Alex. The attack seemed to distract him, and Garet was ready to strike a hot wave of magma at the bastard right when he heard Jenna scream. Turning, he saw Felix charge her, saw the murderous intent in his eyes.

Garet fired, barely missing Jenna with his attack, the beam coming so close that he accidentally singed her clothes and hair. The blast caught Felix square in the chest, incinerating him on contact.

Garet barely had time to breath after the attack; darkness claimed him as something hard smashed him in the head...

Piers: Come on, can't anyone think of anything funny to say?

Felix: Too bored.

Mia: Me too.

Isaac: Same here.

Alex: It's kind of ridiculous how randomly everyone is getting killed off...

She tilted her head inquisitively, as if pondering the content of the question. Isaac held what little breath he had in him, hoping that she would realize the significance of what he said.

"If I had kids, would I not remember it?"

Isaac swallowed. Here it went: "Mia, is there a scar on your abdomen?"

Isaac was not aware that he was holding his breath, watching with all his might as Mia used her hand to inspect her body with her psynergy.

Mia: So, I'll use my Psynergy to examine myself, but not to heal someone bleeding to death or to actually free them from the wall? This is ridiculous.

She looked at him, puzzlement in her eyes. Before he could speak, words came to his mind. Only they were not his words, they were her words; he was dying. Isaac knew this, yet the words she spoke carried volumes.

"I must go speak with Alex."

On the upside, at least Garet was out of commission, which, assuming he did not suffer from the collateral damage, would offer a wonderful muscle for enforcing his will. And Jenna was too busy crying over her brother.

Piers: Hey, I just thought... has Isaac even thought about that kid he lost since chapter two? Asking Mia about the child doesn't count.

Mia: Uncaring bastard, isn't he? You'd think he would be a little more upset about it.

Which left a man and a woman - Kyle was one of them, he remembered, Sheba, who was of little threat, five kids, two other random persons, and a dog. Sheba was the only one trying to attack him, charging up an attack that they both knew was quite futile. That only left Mia as one to oppo-

MIA!

"Alex, I need to ask you a quest-"

"MIA NO!"

Too late. Mia had warped in right between him and Sheba, and the blonde Jupitarian caught her in a blazing grasp of electricity. Alex could only stare as Sheba unknowingly (or otherwise, it was hard to tell if she knew what she was doing) fried Mia, watching her clothes blaze from the electricity.

"NOOOO!"

Alex fired a ray of pure light, ending Mia's suffering and piercing Sheba's shoulder. Dismissing Sheba as completely out of comission, Alex ran to Mia, holding her, trying to heal her. "Mia, Mia, speak to me!"

"Isaac? Is that you? I...I can...can't hold on..."

"No...NO!"

Alex: I am never going to speak the word "no" again.

Isaac: Alex, are you gay?

Alex: [death glares]

Alex rose, dropping Mia. Despite his molding, despite his efforts, despite all of this power, he could not bring her to love him. HIM! Him who taught her the value of life! The one that taught her how to heal, the one who saved her from Saturos and Menardi, the one who saved her from death from falling at the Jupiter Lighthouse,

Mia: And when exactly did he save me at the Jupiter Lighthouse?

the one who saved the world by himself...

She did not love him.

Jenna only noticed Alex when she barely had her tears under control. Why was her brother attacking her? What had gotten into him? What-

She saw Alex, saw him gathering massive ammounts of energy into his hand, and for all purposes, Jenna gave up. There was no way that they would win, not with virtually everyone of power needed dead or missing. Tears in her eyes, Jenna stared, wondering when the blast would consume her.

Only it did not: Alex turned the blast on himself, obliterating himself with his own attack. Jenna stared, confused beyond words. What just happened?

Mia: He realised he was a lame villain and killed himself.

Piers: Because Mia was too stupid to save him and Isaac was too stupid to ask her to save him.

they had pieced together that Alex must have killed himself when Sheba killed Mia by accident. They deduced that Alex was manipulating Felix all along, despite Sheba's statement that Felix was Felix until that battle.

Years later, Jenna shook her head. So many died at the hands of Alex, so many pointless deaths.

Isaac: Pointless? No, really?

Watching her children running in the fields of Vault, Jenna sat next to her husband on the porch of their house, leaning her head on Garet's shoulder.

One thing never did make sense: what had driven Alex insane?

Mia: He stumbled upon Sunshipping hentai.

Isaac: He was abused as a child by Dr. No.

Piers: His manhood was too small.

Felix: He read too many bad fanfics.

Alex: You lot are unfunny. And I hate you all.

That last one aside, I would be suprised if anyone reviews this (neverminds reads and/or reviewed my fics) in the near future.

Anyway, I hope you did enjoy this to some degree, as it was quite a challenge to write, in more ways than one.

And with that, I now join the leagues of author's who have pissed off their fan base. Yee haw. Now I am officially on the same level as George Lucas. Damn.

Mikaa, Lord of the Flypaper, Resident of Ch'Kal'A in Animal Crossing: Wide World

- To be fair, I am not completely against George Lucas. The man does have some qualities, namely keeping the Special Effects section of "Horrywood" up to date. But when your company officially licenses a series of novels (namely the Star Wars books by Timothy Zahn), I get pissed when he throws away one of the best written works of our time with his piss-poor plot and acting with the prequels. That's my 50 Cents, and no, I don't mean that pathetic game. Ok, enough ranting, time to go kill more things. Er, I mean, Zombies. Gotta play Castlevania Double Pack. Really.

Bye, yall!

Isaac: It's over.

Mia: Thank goodness...

Felix: I'm not sure if I was bored or disturbed. Maybe both.

Piers: I'm disturbed by how anyone could think randomly killing off almost everyone makes a good fanfic.

Alex: I don't even have anything left to say...

Kyarorain: [warps in] Hey. You all survived? Impressive.

Isaac: Do you think making us suffer through bad fanfiction is funny?

Kyarorain: You guys weren't funny enough.

Felix: Blame the fic! It was so dull, we could barely think of anything funny to say.

Mia: And you're the one who wrote all this MSTing crap!

Kyarorain: Well, yeah. I think this one was a bit too on the dull side. I'll have to try harder next time.

Alex: Next time?!

Kyarorain: MSTing is fun! ^_^ Sometimes. I just need to pick better fanfiction to MST. [waves hands and causes the Adepts to disappear] Well, that's all, folks!