An Alchemy Sage Calls Act 3 Location: Dining room, where else? People: Henry, Olivia, Felix, Jenna, Sheba, Alex and Kraden of course! Kraden: Well, anyway, I would like to pick my next victim. Alex: Vic...tim? o_o;;;;; Felix: Oh no! He's going to ramble some more! ;_; Kraden: Ahem! Sheba: Would you like more non-alcoholic cider, Felix? Felix: Oh yes, please, thanks! Henry: I think you've drunk enough... o_O Felix: My precious! *clutches glass protectively and makes a strange swallowing noise* Sheba: Okay... O_o' Kraden: My next victim is JENNA! [laughs evilly] Jenna: No! Alex, save me! ._. Alex: Ooh, a fly on the wall. [stares] Jenna: Felix? ._. Felix: [is too busy playing with renmants of food to notice] Olivia: You're dragging my DAUGHTER into this now, are you? Kraden: Absolutely. Henry: Alright, spill, what did you do? Jenna: Nothing, Dad, honest! Felix: Yeah, right [hiccups] >_> Alex: You are hiccuping a lot... Felix: Oh, it will pass soon. Henry: So, anyway... [looks suspiciously at Felix] what happened to Mia? Sheba: If I read Kraden's mind, we wouldn't have to do all this crap. Jenna: But we have to for the sake of this awful play. Felix: [hiccup] Alex: One more hiccup- Felix: Mom, Alex is threatening me! Alex: ... Olivia: Stop hiccuping then, dear. Felix: -_-' [hiccup] Kraden: Good question. You see, after she had left your business, now, you see, she was out of work, you see, for, I believe, a duration of precisely two months, now you see? Her parents were dead, you see, so now she had no home, you see, don't you? Now, apparently, she wasn't paid enough at Venus Company, so, I guess, she couldn't save most of it either, so then, she, you would never believe it, I tell you, she lived in lodgings, you see now, right? And she had no relatives, you see, and she was absolutely lonely and half-starved, so we'd say she was feeling pretty desperate by then. Alex: Were all the 'you see's really necessary?! Felix: [Hiccups] Jenna: FELIX! [throws a bottle cork at him] Felix: I said... stop throwing things at me... ._. Sheba: Um... could we just get on with this? I'm kinda bored of hanging around and serving no purpose whatsoever. Felix: Shiny... [stares at a fork] Jenna: Uh, anyway, poor Mia. Kraden: Yeah, you see, a whole bunch of women live in these here gigantic cities, and them there companies aren't into looking for those there cheap labour! Henry: That is improper grammar... Olivia: And it's people, not cheap labour... Kraden: Yeah, sometimes I think it would be better if we were these young women counting their pennies in a dingy little back bedroom! Felix: That did NOT sound right to me, are you sure you said it properly? [hiccup] Alex: Isn't there ANY cure for hiccups? Jenna: Scaring him? Alex: Hey, Felix, there's a scary dragon behind you! Felix: I'm not falling for that... [hiccups and drinks more non-alcoholic cider] Alex: Darnit. Olivia: Kraden? Kraden: Oh, yes, what is it you want to know now? Do tell me because I am very keen to answer any and all questions that you have because I simply love talking too much for my own good! Henry: Stop rambling! Olivia: You're supposed to- Jenna: Tell us what happened to Mia next! Sheba: [pours Felix more non-alcoholic cider] Alex: You're getting him drunk, aren't you? Sheba: Don't make me cast Spark Plasma again... Alex: Meep! Kraden: Ah, yes, that is a very good question, Jenna, I am indeed glad that you were good-natured enough to ask me that excellent question. Why should we not wonder what happened next to Mia, it is a very interesting topic after all- Everyone: KRADEN! Kraden: Relax, I am actually going to be getting to the actual point in a minute or so, you see, I seem to have a slight problem with getting to the point at the moment, actually, I don't really see the point in getting to the point, pardon the pun... she was taken on at a good shop, er, it might have been The Lemurian Days or something like that... Felix: Whose idea was it to call it the Lemurian Days?! [hiccups] Alex: A moron. Jenna: Just listen! Um, hey, I've been to The Lemurian Days, I go there sometimes with Mom! Olivia: We do? Jenna: o.O I was there this afternoon in fact... buying sexy lingerie. Felix: Too much information... Alex: Oh, really? ^_^ I'd like to see it sometime. Jenna: You certainly may! ^_- Kraden: Mia actually thought she was a lucky girl to get taken on at The Lemurian Days, but alas, her new job was short-lived. She even thought she was making a good, fresh start. I bet any of you here can imagine how she might have felt. Alex: Like an idiot. Felix: Really? Alex: Who goes to work at stores that don't exist? Sheba: Shut up, Alex... Jenna: Did she feel emo? Did she cut her wrists and listen to Linkin Park? Henry: Did she get into trouble? Felix: [hiccup] Olivia: Felix, we really need to do something about that hiccup... Kraden: But then, you see, about a couple of months later, she actually felt that she was beginning to settle down quite nicely at the Lemurian Days. But then the people there were so rude, you see, they told her she had to go. Olivia: Why? Henry: Not doing her work properly? Alex: They realised the store didn't exist. Sheba: Dont make me do it again... Felix: You don't really need to talk, you know... Sheba: How rude! [pours Felix even more non-alcoholic cider] Alex: You really are doing something to him, arent you? Sheba: [smiles sweetly] Yeah? Says who? Jenna: Sheba... Kraden: All I know, and believe me, I know a heck of a lot actually, but I am sure that you already know this. I have not got the time to tell you absolutely everything that I know unfortunately, so I can only tell you that Mia was sacked because a very rude and naughty little customer decided to complain about her so she had to go. Jenna: [stands bolt upright] Alex: Jenna? Jenna: OH &%#$! Felix: Jenna! Olivia: Jenna, what did you just say? Jenna: If we're right before the boulder falls, when is it going to fall? Olivia: It's already fallen! Henry: We're pretending it's not fallen, remember? Jenna: Oh, yeah. [sits down] The setting confuses the hell out of me. I mean, how can we be in the original Vale in our house anyway? Felix: :hic: Alex: Jenna? Jenna: o.o What? Alex: Say your line. Jenna: Um, when was this, Kraden? Kraden: Ah, yes, I believe that this was at the end of January, last year. I never forget anything, so I am pretty darn sure that I was accurate and correct in delivering information to you. Jenna: Oh. Can I see that photo? Kraden: Sure... [steps near a light and pulls a photo out of his pocket] Come closer. Jenna: [jumps up and rushes over to look] HOW UGLY! Henry/Olivia/Felix/Alex/Sheba: Jenna! Jenna: What the hell is THAT?! Kraden: [peers at it] Oops, wrong photo! [puts the photo back in his pocket and pulls out the real photo which he shows to Jenna] Felix: :hic: Jenna: OH NO! Kraden: Did you recognise her then, Jenna? Jenna: [screams and runs out] Felix: :hic: Jenna? Sheba: [pours Felix more non-alcoholic cider] Drink as much as you like, Felix. Alex: I really don't think... Sheba: Shut up. Henry: Now, look, you went and upset my daughter. Olivia: I'll go and check she's okay. [goes out] Henry: Wait, don't leave me with these people! [follows] Felix: I'm your son! [hiccups] Alex: I think he's sick of your relentless hiccuping. Sheba: How sweet, we're alone... Kraden: Yes, with me. Alex/Sheba/Felix: OH NO! Henry: [pokes his head back in] You made a pretty darn big mess of our 'family celebration' too! Kraden: Yes, Mia was a pretty darn big mess too. Henry: EWW! [leaves] Kraden: Such a promising life, all spoilt. Alex: Can I please have a look at the photo? Kraden: No! Alex: *mutters swear words* Stupid old man. Kraden: Now, you see, I have a curiosity of why the lighthouses split into four when you light them, it really is quite amazing- Felix: What does THAT have to do with the play?! Sheba: What's wrong, want more? [pours more non-alcoholic cider] Kraden: Of what? That? Felix: My head feels strange, I think I'm also saying funny things. Alex: I really dont think it's non-alcoholic anymore... Felix: I want to go to bed now. Kraden: Well, you can't, so there. Alex: You are so bossy. Kraden: Be easy with me and I'll be easy with you. Alex: When I take over the world, you're going to suffer first, old man. Kraden: Would you like me to go back to talking about lighthouses splitting into four? Felix: No! Please! I don't want to die! ;_; Kraden: WTF? Alex: Definitely drunk. [Jenna rushes in and slams the door behind her] Sheba: Did you have to slam the door? Jenna: You knew it was me! Kraden: Of course I did, it's in the script! Jenna: ... Well, whatever. I'll just tell everyone here. Kraden: That is a wise choice Jenna, otherwise I'd have to torture you into it by talking incessantly and I'm sure you wouldn't want me to do that now, would you? Jenna: Did it make much difference to Mia's life? Kraden: Oh, yes, absolutely, it was the last steady job she ever had. Jenna: Oh. Well, crap. Felix: So... what is it then? Jenna: It all started when me and Mom went to Lemurian Days... ~ FLASHBACK ~ Jenna and Olivia are browsing at a shabby Items shop, pretending it is 'Lemurian Days'. Jenna grabs a bright orange dress with yellow stripes. Jenna: Look, Mom, isn't this lovely? ^_^ Olivia: Uhh... o_O Feizhi(The Assistant): Now, look, I really don't think so... Jenna: I don't care what you two say, I want to try it on! Feizhi: That is not your size, we shall get someone to bring your size up to the changing room. Jenna, Olivia and Feizhi relocate to the changing room. Mia comes along with the same dress in Jenna's size. Jenna tries it on and the dress clashes with her hair, making it look absolutely horrid so she quickly removes it and looks sulky. Mia: It doesn't look right on you, silly! Mia holds up the dress against her own body and for some absolutely strange reason, it looks alright on her. Jenna: >=E Mia: [giggles] Feizhi: O_O Mia! Mia: O_O Oops! Jenna: I suppose you two think you are so perfect! Well, you two can get lost and shove that stupid dress straight up your you-know-whats! [storms out] Olivia: Jenna, wait! [follows] Jenna: I'M GOING TO SEE THE MANAGER! [bursts into the manager's 'office'] The manager's office is just a bare room with a chair and a table in it. Sitting on the chair is Piers, who looks up suddenly. Jenna: I WONDERED why this shop was called 'Lemurian Days'! Piers: Yes, what do you want? o.O Jenna: I am Jenna Venus, the famous daughter- Olivia: Famous? o_O Jenna: Of Henry Venus, owner of some random made up company or whatever, and I also have a brother, the stupid idiotic hiccuping Felix, and a wonderful boyfriend, the awesome megalomaniac, Alex! Um... that's about it... Olivia: You didn't have to be that personal... Piers Yes, I see, but why have you come in here, Jenna? Jenna: Because a naughty girl was extraordinarily rude to me just now. Piers: Which girl? Jenna: The fat, ugly, snotty, warty one who blubbers like a baby and laughs like a donkey! Mia: Jenna! [cries and runs on stage] You're horrid! [casts Ice Missile] Jenna: I was reading the script! OWWWW!!! [retaliates with Dragon Fume] Piers/Olivia: ENOUGH! Mia: [runs back off crying] Jenna: *takes deep breath* I hate this play, I hate the script, I hate plotbunnies, I hate Wine Gums, I hate plays, I hate Sheba for getting my brother drunk and lying about it, I hate Alex for being annoying, I hate Kraden for being a rambling annoying old man and I hate the world! [runs off as well] Piers: Get back here! Olivia: That was a long rant... Piers: Why does she hate Wine Gums? Olivia: No clue... Jenna: [comes back on, fuming] I was only following the script, I didn't really want to say that about Mia... Olivia: Please, just get on with it, darling... Piers: I'm getting a bit overused here... Jenna: Anyway, I want you to sack that blue-haired girl. The one with blue eyes, wearing a pale blue dress and a long robe, who puts her hair back with a white ribbon. Piers: Hmm... lots of people like that in Lemuria... Jenna: Don't annoy me, Piers... Piers: I mean... you have described Mia Paragon, one of our best workers. Are you sure? Jenna: Yes! And if you don't sack her, then I'm never shopping here again! Piers: O_O Ok, ok, I'll fire her, happy? Jenna: Yes! [stomps out] Olivia: What a temper... [follows] ~ END FLASHBACK ~ Jenna: I didn't mean it... oh goodness... Kraden: I would say that it sounds like you were jealous of her at the time. Alex: Jenna is so much more beautiful than Mia. Felix: :hic: Really? Alex: Keep quiet, Felix. Just keep quiet. And don't stare like that! Felix: o_o I wasn't staring... what's wrong with my head...? Jenna: I WOULD help her now if I could... Kraden: I am afraid, Jenna, that apparently Mia is dead, so you are a little bit too late to help her, you see? Jenna: Ugh! Felix: [hiccups and giggles] That's a bit stupid isn't it! Alex: You're starting to act out of character. Sheba: More, Felix? [pours more non-alcoholic cider] Jenna: Shut up, Felix. I'm not ever gonna do anything like that again! I think... Kraden: Oh believe me, I'm sure you're going to get that mad again. Jenna: Whatever! And people kept looking at me funny whenever I went to 'Lemurian Days'... Alex: Because everybody knew she thought she was at a store that didn't exist... Jenna: Shut up. Alex: o.O Kraden: Well, I was thinking what a shame it was when I saw her body this night. I wondered why it even had to happen in the first place, you see? I understand, you see, that she lost her first job at the Venus Company, because she kept on complaning about her wages which eventually led to the loss of her job. Then she goes and gets another job at Lemurian Days, but then Jenna spoils it all. Stupid, isn't it? Alex: Yeah. Jenna: SHUT THE HELL UP, ALEX, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? Felix: OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND! [giggles and hiccups again] Jenna: O_O Felix... Sheba: So, what happened next? Kraden: Well, she was beginning to get pretty desperate now so now she had to try something else. You see, she decided to change her own name from Mia Paragon to Mary Aquarius... Alex: [jumps up and stares] WHAT? Jenna: O_O Kraden: ...Mary Aquarius... Alex: C-can I have some wine? Jenna: NO! Alex: =\ Sheba: =\ I wanted to poison him... Felix: o_O;;; Kraden: I shall go and accompany Henry and Olivia. Would you mind coming with me for a minute, Felix? Felix: Um... sure... o_o;;; [gets up and stumbles] Whoah... I can barely walk... [Kraden and Felix leave. Sheba sits in the corner, laughing. Jenna turns and glares across the room at Alex who is now cowering by the wall] --- End of Act 3 --- Kyarorain: Hmm, I'd say Alex is in hot water now. Mia: [glares evilly at Jenna] Jenna: Really, it was in the script, look! [brandishes it at her] Mia: ... [scans the script carefully] Caz? Kyarorain: >_> Oh come on! It doesn't mean I really think that!